Do You Remember Me?
by Raphaelfanguy4real
Summary: Raphael Hamato is the strongest in his family, they all know it, and they all accept it, but after he get's severely injured in a fight with two of shredders cronies, they know he may never be the same. what they don't know is how severely, and they are not at all prepared for it. rated for description of injuries. feel free to review
1. Past or Present?

Raph stared into leo's eyes as they readied to spar,

"Hajime!" splinter said firmly, Raph grabbed his sais, leo his katanas. Watching his brothers every move, Raph slowly circled him, then, without warning, he charged. Leo jumped nimbly out of the way, but he swerved quickly and tripped his blue clad brother. Leo thumped to the floor, raph placed his foot on his shell.

"Well that was easy." he said.

"Yame!" splinter commanded, Raph let leo up. Leo looked at the floor.

"I'm sorry master splinter." he said, "I was, distracted."

"I'll say!" Raph boasted, "it usually takes me a whole two minutes to beat you!" leo glared at him, splinter did as well, "sorry." raph muttered.

"What distracted you my son?" splinter asked leo, leo sighed.

"A, I guess a memory." he stammered, "I had a dream last night, a nightmare. But it was about something real." raph wondered what leo had dreamed, the black hole generator? Zarr narron? The triceratons?

"What memory?" splinter pressed, raph looked at the floor, not sure if he should be overhearing.

"A long time ago." leo whispered, "we were five, i don't know why it has me so confused, i'll get over it." raph saw leo's dark blue eyes travel to the lightning shaped chip in his plastron, and his mind reeled. Leo had dreamed about that? Of all the horrible things, he dreamed about raph hurting himself?

"I see." splinter said, "you may both go now." Raph walked out next to leo, when they were in the living room he looked at leo.

"You, you still remember that?" he asked, leo looked up sadly.

"It was one of the worst days of my life." he replied, Raph frowned,

"Why? I mean, leo, you almost died once, we saw our world get sucked into a black hole for crying out loud, why is that one of the worst days of your life?"

"Because," leo hesitated, "it was my fault." Raph almost laughed right out loud at that.

"I was the idiot who took a running jump off a cliff." he said, Mikey and Donnie look up from their video game.

"Uh, you look ok to me bro." Mikey said, "not even a scratch." Raph rolled his eyes.

"You don't understand." he said waspishly, Mikey looked at him sympathetically.

"Was it the cows?" he asked.

"What the shell?"

"Yeah, I'd stay away if i were you." mikey advised, "the cows are evil."

"What are you talking about?" Donnie asked, "what cows?"

"The evil ones, duh." Mikey said, Raph just looked at him as he turned back to the screen.

"Ook." leo said, "thanks for the advice mikey,"

"It's what i do." raph looked at leo, who shrugged.

"Well then."raph said, "let's forget that happened."

"It was my fault." leo repeated "because i left you behind, i knew you would get lost" raph looked at leo for a moment.

"Ok." he finally said. Raph turned away from his older brother, Leo had really felt guilty for that dumb thing for ten years? Wow. Raph sat next to mikey to watch, Donnie was way far ahead of him, about, 10 life points. He was obviously going to win.

"Augh! The cows!" Mikey exclaimed, raph looked at the screen.

"Those are not cows." he said, "those are bears."

"Oh, false alarm." Mikey said happily, "thanks raph." raph rolled his eyes, only mikey could mistake bears as cows. Raph suddenly felt restless, they should be out there, hunting bad guys. Not sitting around here, playing video games.

"You ok raph?" donnie asked, not even looking away from the screen, raph could have sworn donnie was psychic!

"Yeah, I dunno, i just feel like we should be out there."

"Why don't you take the afternoon sewer patrol?" leo suggested, "to keep yourself sane." Raph contemplated this, saying yes would be agreeing with leo, saying no would be a death sentence. Not that leo would hurt him, he just wouldn't survive being here that long.

"Sure, why not?" he grunted, getting to his feet. "See you guys."

"Watch out for cows." was Mikey's reply. Raph chuckled as he went out into the sewers. As he walked along, his thoughts returned to what leo had said earlier. It had been years, literally years, since raph last thought of his accident. He'd taken at least three months to heal all the way, but it wasn't a very vivid memory.

"Spread out." a voice said, and Raph stopped in hi stracks, "we know they live down here, it's only a matter of time until we find them." it was rocksteady.

"Aww man! Why do you get to call the shots?" beebop complained, "I'm the one with shnazzy new equipment!"

"New equipment?" Raph muttered, and looked carefully around the corner, their Rino and Piggy friends were walking along the sewers. He took out his t-phone and texted leo _found some mutants_. He slipped it back into his belt without checking to see if it got through.

"I say to spread out!" Rocksteady growled, "do the splitting up."

"Don't you know that's a bad idea?" beebop asked, "dummy." beebop stopped and sniffed the air, Raph remembered he could smell mutants.

"Aw shell." he muttered,a dn grabbed his sais.

"Man! One of 'em's here! Listening!" beebop said, "you probably made them find us with your loud mouth!"

"It was not a me." rocksteady said, "you are the one with fancy new equipment."

"Oh yeah!" beebop took out a metal cylinder. "Here, turtle," he called, "come out to play."

"Rargh!" Raph roared, jumping at them, he hit rocksteady first the hulking rino turned, annoyed.

"Hey, beebop, i is doing the finding today!" he grabbed raph's shell, Raph took the opportunity to Stab his sai into the thick skin on his hand. "Ow!"

"And i is doing the hurting!" raph said, breaking free from his grasp.

"You Mock me!" rocksteady roared, slamming his fist down towards raph, raph jumped nimbly out of the way.

"That the best you got?"

"Let me handle this Rocksteady!" beebop said, running from the side with his pathetic metal cylinder, Raph held his sai's ready, but rocksteady slammed his rhino horn into raph's back, he thudded against the wall with a sickening crack.

"Heh, shows turtle right for mock me." Rocksteady said, grabbing raph's shell as he tried to recover from the blow. Raph saw his sais laying on the ground next to the wall, he'd dropped them.

"Let's see if that fly guy was right about this!" beebop said, holding up the cylinder, he pressed a button and a sleek new blade slid out. "Fancy right? He said it's adamantium, should cut right through their shells." Raph's eyes widened.

"No, NO!" he yelled, and kicked his foot back into Rocksteady's face, if he didn't get that blade away from them, his whole family could die. The giant rhino stumbled backward and dropped him, raph rolled to his sais and grabbed them. "Not gonna be that easy." he growled, "how about this beebop," the pig looked at him, "you and i, no help from Rocksteady now, you and I fight, sword against sai. If i win, an i take your blade, you give me the blade and leave. If you win, you kill me with it. Deal?" beebop looked at rocksteady.

"Yeah man! No helping me out! I can handle this pathetic excuse for a reptile!" he boasted, Raph grinned, that's what he'd been hoping for.

"Meh, fine." rocksteady growled, "but if you fall, i will crush the turtle's shell like the blueberries." he leaned back against the wall. Raph held his sai's out, he was about, 67% positive he'd win. He knew enough about math to know that was a bad percent.

"You think those tiny skewers will do anything against this?" beebop asked haughtily "this is pure titanium!"

"Yeah, you said," raph growled, "get ready to find out." he charged at beebop, but as he caught the pigs blade in his sai, it sliced right through the steel. "What the,"

"Oh yeah, and that scientist dude especially made sure it could break steel!" beebop laughed, "too bad you didn't know that!" Raph threw the ruined weapon away and held his remaining one up in defensive, his percent had dwindled down to about, fifty four, you know, because he was so sure that he was smart. He watched beebop carefully, aware that rocksteady had relaxed visibly when they saw the blade did it's job.

"I bet it only works once." he growled, casting his senses around, trying to buy time, "why don't you try again?" he realised that this was the tunnel he remembered from that one day, he wouldn't have if leo hadn't brought it up. But he knew a chasm was only a few hundred yards behind him. He backed up slowly,a plan beginning to from in his head.

"Hey, where you goin man?" beebop yelled, "that's a dead end!"

"Well, hope you don't die." Raph responded, bebop came after him.

"You know, I'm gonna love slicing right through your shell." he said.

"Really? I feel the same about you." raph said, getting closer to the edge every second, he stopped about a foot away, "why don't you try it?" beebop accepted the invitation and ran at raph, raph tried to dodge, so that he'd fall. But apparently this guy wasn't as stupid as he looked. Instead, ,he swerved too, and slashed the sword down toward raph's head. Raph swung his head back, but his plastron wasn't as fortunate. The blade caught right in the crack already existing in his shell, a faint voice played in his head.

 _You should really let me seal that crack raph, it might be a weak spot._ Thanks a ton donnie. Raph thought, turns out, you are right about everything. Not about to give up, and despite the agony crawling through him, raph grabbed the sword in his hands as he fell backwards over the edge, beebop didn't expect that, and let go. Raph fell into the dizzying darkness. He fumbled for his t-phone during the fall, aware he was losing consciousness fast, he just managed to call leo before thudding onto the ground and also falling into darkness.


	2. What Mistakes Have Been Made

Leo felt his t-phone buzz and pulled it out. "Raph?" he answered and said his brother's name again, then he heard a sickening crunch, and silence, only penetrated with a single ragged breath. "Raph!"

"What happened?" Donnie asked, coming over.

"I, I don't know!" Leo gasped, "Raph called me, and, and he's not talking!" Donnie took the phone and listened as a second painful sounding breath was heard.

"What the?" he gasped, Mikey looked over.

"Is his phone broken or something?" Leo looked at Donnie, if they told Mikey what was happening, he'd freak out.

"Mikey, don and I need to go out." he said, "tell master Splinter to call me, and I'll tell him."

"Uh, ok." Mikey said, seeing the terrified light in Leo's eyes.

"Can you track his phone Donnie?" Leo asked his genius brother, who nodded, pulling out his own.

"On it." they hurried out of the lair as Donnie keyed in instructions he looked at the map in his brother's hand.

"There?" he asked, Donnie shrugged.

"I guess." but Leo was thrown back in time, ten years ago.

"Hurry." he said, picking up the pace. They got to an intersection however, and skidded to a halt, voices.

"I dunno, who won? Cause he took my sword, but he's dead." it was beebop, and probably rocksteady.

"Well, you cracked his shell like the blueberries." rocksteady replied as they walked past, Leo and Donnie jumped up and hid on the ceiling, "so, I think you won." the two of shredder's cronies passed and Leo jumped down, followed by Donnie.

"Raph." the purple masked ninja whispered, and the two brothers took off in a full sprint, they skidded to a halt at the edge of a familiar chasm, Donnie now understood why Leo had paled.

"Oh, here."

"Yeah." Leo whispered, he was afraid to look over the edge, to see what had happened to his brother. But he had to. He slowly looked past the chipped concrete, and almost threw up. Raph lay so still, at the base of the cliff. But that was not the only reason. Donnie gasped.

"His, his plastron!" Donnie grabbed his grappling hook, "come on Leo! We have to get down there!"

"R-right." Leo stuttered, grabbing his own, but unable to tear his gaze from the sight of his brothers broken form. They landed hard, but barely noticed the impact. Donnie immediately went to their brothers side, Leo followed. But he stopped, a shiny blade glinted a few yards away, he walked to it. It was undoubtedly a work of Baxter Stockman, his tech all had a similar look.

"Leo! Get over here!" Donnie barked, Leo walked over, and again felt his lunch rise in his throat. "I need you to help me." his younger brother pressed, "I, I think I can get him home safely."

"Ok." Leo said, his mouth dry, "what do you need?" Donnie looked at him.

"I know you don't want to leave him, but I need you to go get the shellraiser, I drew a map of how to get here without falling off a cliff, but hurry,and make sure my first aid kit is in there."

"Ok." Leo said, standing, Donnie would never want him to leave unless it was absolutely necessary. Leo used his grappling hook to get back to the top, and then sprinted back home, he'd run so much in the past ten minutes, but he couldn't stop.

"Leo!" Mikey said as he ran into the lair, "where's Donnie?"

"Leonardo," sensei said, "i was just going to call you."

"You have to come with me sensei." Leo gasped, "in the shellraiser, Mikey, stay here." he grabbed the keys, "let's go." Splinter must have noticed that Leo was distressed, and followed without comment.

"Michelangelo, please get all my herbs ready, I have a feeling I may need them." Leo didn't argue, he was right. And Mikey nodded, his eyes wide. Leo jumped into the shellraiser and it roared through the sewers, taking a route he didn't recognise without the map Donnie had sketched. Splinter remained silent, and Leo hardly realised he was there until he skidded to a stop in the chasm, a few hundred yards away from the huddled figure of his brothers.

"Over here sensei." he gasped, running yet again. Donnie looked at master Splinter.

"Good idea, I may need his help." he said, Leo nodded, and looked past Donnie to Raph's still figure, he watched his brother's mangled chest rise with a painful breath, and slowly fall.

"Donatello," Splinter said firmly, "find two straight pieces of rock or wood, as long as Raphael's chest." Don nodded and got to his feet, he began searching the chasm floor for rubble. Leo stared at master Splinter.

"My dream, was it warning me?"

"I do not know." Splinter admitted, "but we must not dwell on that now, Raphael needs our help."

"Will these work?" Donnie asked, holding up two relatively straight chunks of wood.

"Yes, Leonardo, get bandages from the first aid kit." Leo nodded numbly, and pulled the duffel bag out of the shellraiser, rifling through it.

"Here sensei." he said, handing them to his father. Splinter first wrapped Raph's whole chest with bandages, then placed the wood on either side, the front and back.

"To straighten his spine." he said, then wrapped yet more bandages around that. "Donatello, do you happen to have a stretcher in the shellraiser?"

"Uh," Donnie looked into his creation, "we can use the panel that covers the hatch for the stealth bike."

"Very well." sensei said, and Leo helped Donnie pry off the flat piece of wood. They then carefully, under Splinter instruction, lifted Raph and gently placed him on it. Don went to the shellraiser and returned with thick leather straps.

"I had these, but not a stretcher." he muttered, "Donatello the genius." Splinter didn't comment, but secured Raph safely on the panel, before allowing them to carry it to the shellraiser.

"Leonardo, you will still drive." Splinter said, Leo sighed, he had been about to ask if he could sit with Raph.  
"Hai, sensei." he said, and sat in the front seat. As soon as sensei said that Raph was secure, he slammed the gas pedal. He tried not to let his emotions overflow, if they arrived hysterical, Mikey would freak even more than he was going too, Leo was glad that most of Raph's injuries were covered by bandages. By the time he realised he was about to pass the lair, he slammed the breaks. "Sorry." he gasped, looking back at his family, Raph was still breathing, that was good.

"Guys!" Mikey shouted, coming to meet them, "I got all your healing herbs...Raph!"

"Michelangelo." Sensei said sternly, "go with Leonardo and set up the cot in the lab, and then take him to get clean." Leo looked at himself, he realised he was streaked with dirt, grime, and most sickeningly, blood.

"O-ok." Mikey stammered, and Leo walked next to him numbly, not speaking, Mikey was pale, almost as pale as Raph. Leo spun around, he had to help Raph.

"Leo!" Mikey exclaimed, grabbing his arm, "we're going to the lab!"

"Raph!" Leo shouted, Mikey grabbed his other arm.

"We're going!" he said, hugging Leo tightly, "I don't know what's wrong with Raph, but I know he's gonna be ok." Leo stared at Mikey, "now come on, master Splinter said he needs the cot." Leo followed him now, and helped him set up the cot. Then Mikey brought him to the bathroom and sat him on the edge of the tub. In a few minutes,after Mikey helped him clean off the rest of the grime they went back out to the lab.

"Master Splinter?" Mikey called, "can we come in?"

"I dunno sensei." Donnie said inside the lab, "Leo was pretty freaked out."

"I'm going in!" Leo yelled, and pushed past Mikey into the lab. Raph was laying on the cot, his bandages now removed. Leo stared at the huge crack running through his plastron. With it cleaned, it did not look any less horrifying. Mikey came after him, but stopped.

"Oh…" he gasped, and turned around. He left the lab, Leo knelt beside his brother. This was all his fault, he'd told Raph to go out into the sewers, he'd even had a dream to warn him, and he still let Raph get hurt.

"Leonardo." Sensei said, "if you wish to be in here you must help." Leo nodded, and looked up at his father.

"Yes, what do you need me to do?"

"Get a bowl of water, and wash cloths" Leo nodded, and got to his feet, when he returned with the items he knelt by Raph and took his three fingered hand. He took one of the rags and washed the bloodstained fingers cleaned. As he finished he looked at the thick calluses that covered the fingers, Raph must have gotten awful blisters with all his work, but he'd never once complained. He rubbed his own fingers absentmindedly on the calluses. Sensei continued to wash blood and dirt from Raph's wounds, and did not ask Leo to do anything else. Leo knew he was scared of losing Raph, Leo was too. But Mikey's words echoed in his ears.

 _I know he's gonna be ok_

"I know you're gonna be ok." Leo whispered to his brother, "so, so prove me right ok?" Splinter finished cleaning the wound and got his healing herbs, Donnie ended up leaving to help Mikey, who'd thrown up in the living room, and Leo was alone with his father and brother. Leo watched him make a dressing to put on Raph's wound, and looked back up, he wished he hadn't. It looked like Raph's lightning shaped crack had been the start of the wound, like the sword caught in it. Now the crack reached down to around his belt, and there was a chunk missing over his left lung and heart area. The skin there that remained was pale green, because it had never seen sunlight. Blood still oozed from there, and Raph's breathing was more ragged than ever.

"Leonardo." Splinter said, Leo looked up.

"Yes?"

"We need to make Raphael as comfortable as possible." sensei said, "please go to his room and get his pillows."

"Hai sensei." Leo said, getting to his feet. He walked to Raph's bedroom and opened the door. He walked to the bed, but something on the nightstand caught his eyes, he looked at it and his jaw dropped. It was the shattered photo he'd saved from the kraang invasion, the one he'd placed next to Leo's bedside as he recovered. He still had it. Leo took it in his trembling hands, he rubbed the scotch tape that held the remaining glass together and placed it back on the nightstand, he scooped up all the pillows on the bed and carried it out to the lab, Mikey and Donnie had fallen asleep on the couch a while ago it seemed, and Leo walked into the lab, he set the pillows on the floor and saw that sensei had rewrapped Raph in clean bandages, he had also cleaned the hand Leo had been holding.

"Good Leonardo." Splinter said, "now we will not prop him up until he heals more, we only need one for his head, but I'm afraid his leg is injured as well, we will cushion it." Leo nodded and grabbed two of the pillows. Then, as Splinter adjusted him, Leo went back and got a blanket, and the picture. He set it on the floor next to Raph and resumed his act of caressing his hand. Splinter stood over them for a moment, and then left. Leo didn't realize when he fell asleep, but in the morning he rubbed gum from his eyes as he awoke.


	3. Secrets and Lies

_**ok, first i want to thank all the people who have been reading this, and feel free to review guys. second, there is no romance between any of the brothers here, (aka no leo x raph) because i just don't do that, and third, don't review until after you actually read the chapter because there is some false info in here, but that's just for the story line. and finally, enjoy this chapter! it almost made me cry to write it!**_

Donnie looked in the lab, Leo was still there, holding Raph's hand. He walked in.

"Leo," Leo looked up, rubbing his eyes, "you need sleep, I can watch him now." Leo hesitated, and shook his head.

"I can't don, I just...can't"

"Splinter's orders." Donnie said more firmly, "come on, you know I'll get you if anything happens." Leo looked back down at Raph.

"O-ok don, but, leave the picture where it is." Donnie was about to ask what he was talking about but Leo got up and slowly walked out. Donnie looked back down and saw what he meant.

"Oh Raph." he said, a sob catching in his throat, "I'm sorry." he took Raph's hand, the one Leo hadn't been holding, and rubbed it gently, hoping for some kind of response. If Raph lived, oh how Donatello hated the word if, he would undoubtedly have severe nerve damage, possibly spinal cord damage too. And he, Donnie, did not know how to help. He looked down at his older brothers face and shivers ran up his shell. He had only seen his immediate older brother without his mask on once before. Then too, his life had been in danger. The bright red always made Raphael feel bigger, making up for his short height. But without it, he seemed so vulnerable. And Donatello had never thought his brother to be vulnerable.

"How, how is he?" Mikey whispered, making Donnie jump, he hadn't heard his younger brother come up behind him. Raph gasped in pain, and then slowly resumed the painful pattern of breathing. "Oh."

"He, he's uh.." Donnie didn't know what to say. "Raph is strong Mikey. He'll be ok." Donnie wished he could believe his own words.

"That's what I told Leo." Mikey said, "but, but I don't think he believes me." Donnie sighed, looking down at Raph.

"Mikey, did Leo tell you about the dream he had, two nights ago?" he asked, Leo had stammered about his dream while they were running to find him, now Donnie realized why it was so important.

"No."

"He dreamed of, of the time Raph's plastron first got chipped." Donnie explained, "he feels like it was a warning that he ignored."

"Oh." Mikey looked at the floor for a moment. "Donnie, you, well, when Leo's shell got cracked…"

"Yeah?"

"You were worried if he'd live."

"I know I was."

"But, this is worse." Mikey looked up, his usually bright blue eyes looked shattered. "Is he really gonna be ok?" Donatello didn't know what to say to his younger brother. He sighed.

"Mikey, if, well, usually he'd be dead by now, I don't really know why he's not." he said and Mikey's eyes widened. "So, I think that he's gonna pull through, whether or not he'll ever be the same again…. I don't know."

"Oh." Mikey said again, and looked over at their sleeping brother. For a few moments the silence was only punctuated by the slow ragged breaths of their brother. Donnie didn't even know if he himself was breathing. "I'm gonna go make some soup, will…" Mikey hesitated, "will we be able to get Raph to eat?"

"I don't know Mikey." Donnie said, "ask sensei, but I'd like some soup either way, for myself."

"Ok." Mikey said, and slowly walked out, then Donnie was alone again with Raph. he rubbed his brothers hand again, noting how hard it had become, thick calluses all but covered it.

"I'm sorry Raph." he whispered, "I, I know you'll wake up. So, don't make me a liar ok? Mikey would hate me." Raph flinched, as if something had slapped him across the face, and Donnie sighed. "Yeah, I'm sorry."

"Donatello." Splinter said, and Donnie turned.

"How-how long have you been here sensei?"

"Not long." Splinter replied, "has he gotten any better?" Donnie looked at his brother's pale face,

"I, I don't know sensei, do you want me to get my heart monitor out? I could…." Splinter nodded, and Donnie got to his feet. He walked quickly to the closet and gingerly opened the door, he spotted the equipment up on a shelf near the back. "Just a minute sensei." he pushed his way in, past spare parts and a broken swivel chair he'd been meaning to repair. When he reached the shelf, he carefully lifted the screen off, and turned. He jumped with a yelp when he saw sensei standing at the door.

"I'm sorry," Splinter said, "pass it out to me." Donnie handed it out to his father and turned to get the rest of the smaller equipment. When he emerged from the closet, carrying it in his trembling hands, he got right to work, he gently took his brothers left hand and put the heart monitor receiver thing on it, then he ran the cord up to the screen, from where he took another cord and plugged it into the wall. A steady beeping told him without a doubt that his older brothers heartbeat was stable.

"There, now we'll know if…" Donnie didn't let himself finish the thought out loud. Splinter placed a hand on Donatello's shoulder.

"You have done all you can for him now." he said, "and I know you will continue to do all you can until Raphael's fate is decided." Donnie nodded, but there still seemed to be something he couldn't help worrying about.

"Sensei," he hesitated, making sure neither of his brothers were near, "you do know that, that if Raph wakes up, he'll, he'll never be the same."

"Yes." Splinter sighed. "I know this, but if in fact, he wakes up, he will owe his life to his three brothers."

"And his father." Donnie added impulsively, "I didn't do anything last night, all I did was mass up, I didn't even have a stretcher, and I could barely keep myself from going into hysterics." he sighed, "I don't see why he'd owe his life to me of all people."

"You kept calm and collected in the face of blood." Splinter said, "and you managed to get him here safely, and helped your younger brother when he saw him and was not able to keep calm." Donnie shrugged.

"Yeah, but, but Mikey helped Leo stay calm, and Leo didn't leave Raph's side, and you practically saved his life sensei, you know, if it works."

"Donatello!" Splinter said firmly, "you have, and will continue to, done much for your brother. Without you he would have already died." Donnie bowed his head.

"Yes sensei." he whispered, "i'm sorry." he sat back down by the cot and took his brothers hand again. Donnie didn't remember how long he sat there. Just that it felt like eternity. Suddenly Donatello sat up. He stared at the clean white of the bandages. Underneath that, where usually there would be yellow plastron, there was pale green skin. When Raph recovered he'd need his plastron to survive. He released his brothers hand and went to his desk. If he was going to save his brother's life he'd have to find some kind of synthetic material that could substitute as the missing section. But then, Donnie thought, he may not need to.

"Hey d!" Mikey said, coming in with a bowl of chicken ramen "soup?"

"Sure, thanks." Donnie said, opening up a search bar in his laptop. Mikey walked over and looked at the screen.

"Why would you search that?" he asked, "oh yeah…" the thing don had typed into the bar was,

 _Do turtles shells grow back?_

He selected an article that said something interesting.

 _If you happen to have a pet turtles that has a chipped shell, big enough to injure it, you may look into a transplant. If another turtle has similar enough dna, then if a small fragment of theirs is inserted they both might live._

Donnie stared at this, then at Mikey.

"Are, are you saying…" Mikey gasped Donnie nodded.

"Can I have just a bit of your DNA?" he asked his younger brother. Mikey grinned.

"Out of context that would sound totally creepy. But since this is in context, sure." Donnie rolled his eyes but still took a syringe and Mikey flinched. "Oh, that kind of DNA."

"We have to try." Donnie pressed, "i'll take some of Leo's too, to see who matches him best."

"Ok." Mikey said and closed his eyes. "Get it over with." Donnie carefully drew some of Mikey's blood and inserted it into a vial. "I said do it." Mikey complained.

"I did." Donnie said, "i told you years ago you hardly feel it." Mikey opened his eyes.

"Oh." he said, "so, want me to go get Leo?" Donnie nodded.

"He wanted to help. Now he can, just tell him to get in here."

"Sure." Mikey shrugged and walked out Donnie scrolled down to read more of the article, when he reached the bottom, his heart sank, then broke apart completely.

 _APRIL FOOLS! If you fell for this shame on you! But I'm sorry if you actually have a pet turtle who's gonna die now, even more if you actually took him to the vet and asked to have a shell transplant, but hey! At least some of us got a laugh!_

Donatello closed his laptop and felt tears slide down his cheeks.

"Donnie?" Leo sprinted in, "Mikey said you needed me!" Donnie shook his head miserably.

"Not anymore." he whispered, his voice shaking, "it doesn't matter." Leo put a hand on his shoulder.

"What happened?" he asked gently.

"I was an idiot." he mumbled, "I, I just, I just wanted to see…" he buried his head in his hands. Leo opened the laptop.

"Oh." he said as he read the article, "Donnie, this isn't your fault, these guys have a sick sense of humor, that's all."

"I actually believed it Leo." Donnie moaned, "I'm an idiot."

"Don, you were trying to help Raph." Leo said, "that's not your fault, now come on, he still needs us."

"Even an idiot like me?" Donnie asked sadly. Leo smiled

"Even a genius like you, you mean." he said, "come on, you can still figure something out to help him."

"Ok." Donnie sighed, "thanks Leo" he sat up, "I, I guess I can still find some kind of synthetic plastron."

"Yeah, see?" Leo asked, "you're a genius." Donnie nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Thanks Leo." he said again, Donnie closed the tab on his computer and opened another one, "this time i'll check each website before making plans."


	4. A Missing Piece

_**hey guys, here's chapter four! i'm so happy so many people have been reading this!**_

 _ **to my guest reviewers, it means a lot that you took the time to review, thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter!**_

Mikey sighed as he took his turn sitting next to Raph. It had been a whole two weeks since Donnie had thought of the idea to give Raph a new plastron, well, part of one anyway. Now, he'd almost perfected the material he was making. To Mikey, it felt like a plasticky rubbery piece of junk, but Donnie said once he was done it'll look and feel like plastron, so he trusted him.

"Donnie?" he called, "how exactly are you gonna get that thing on him?"

"It's, complicated." Donnie replied from his work desk "I'll explain more tomorrow, I think it's almost ready."

"Ok," Mikey sighed, he rubbed Raph's hand like his brothers had taken the habit of doing, Raph twitched and groaned in his sleep. "It's gonna be ok Raphie." he whispered, "i promise." inside, he knew that either way he'd keep his promise, if Raph got better, he'd be ok. If not, he'd never get hurt again. Donnie left to talk to Leo and Mikey felt tears well in his eyes. "What happened Raphie?" he whispered, "why are you so injured? Leo and Don won't tell me anything, but I can tell they don't really know. What made you go into that chasm?" Raph pulled his hand away and Mikey looked up, his eyes were screwed shut, like he was trying to hide. "I'm sorry." he whispered, "you don't have to tell me."

"Mikey, what are you doing?" Donnie asked as he came back in, "did he wake up?" Mikey cringed at the look of hope in his brothers eyes.

"No." he replied, "i was just…"

"Oh, right." Donnie sighed, and went back to his desk, Mikey gingerly took Raph's hand again.

"Heh, I kinda feel like the big brother now Raph." he whispered, "i never felt that before," tears welled up in his eyes once more, threatening to fall, "please wake up."

"Well," Donnie said, "I personally think it would be better if he slept right through tomorrow, so I don't have to sedate him." Mikey felt a thorn jab his heart.

"Of course." he muttered bitterly "we wouldn't want work for you."

"Because it would be dangerous." Donnie snapped, "I want him to be ok as much as you Mikey." Mikey glared at Donnie for a moment, and then Raph squeezed his hand, he gasped in pain.

"Raph?" Raph's face looked distressed, even with his eyes closed. "I'm sorry, I won't talk like that anymore." Mikey whispered to him, "i didn't mean to upset you." he felt Donnie staring at him quizzically but refused to meet his older brothers gaze. He rubbed his fingers back and forth over Raphs. He looked down, surprised, when he felt a small scar. When had Raph gotten that? Then he remembered once when Raph had jumped in front of a charging foot ninja, getting a tiny slice on that spot. "Thank you Raph." he whispered, and his tears began to fall, "thank you so much."

Mikey sat outside the lab, listening to Donnie and Sensei, Donnie had supposedly perfected his fake plastron, and they were operating on Raph. Mikey had begged to stay, but had to settle for sitting right outside the closed doors of the lab.

"Ok, ok, yes, I think this is working." Donnie muttered excitedly, "i think this will work!"

"Raphael must still recover Donatello." Splinter said, "this will just help him keep himself healthy."

"I know." Donnie said, "I'm just, I'm just glad it's gonna help."

"I told you you are a great brother." Splinter replied, "you just needed to listen." Mikey hugged his knees, how long was this gonna take? They were talking about boring stuff.

"There, that just about does it." Donnie said, Mikey's head snapped up, "let's just rebandage it so it can seal."

"You done?" he called, Donnie came to the door and slid it open.

"yes Mikey, we're done, you can come back in." he replied, Mikey jumped to his feet and went inside the lab, Sensei was just finished re bandaging him. Mikey immediately dropped to his knees and took Raph's hand.

"I didn't tell you yesterday," he began, talking to his father and brothers, "but Raph can hear us, he doesn't like it when we sound mad."

"How do you know?" Leo asked skeptically Mikey looked up at him.

"he squeezed my hand when me and Donnie were arguing."

"Really?" Donnie sounded amazed, "he responded to sound? That's great!" Mikey nodded and lay his head down on the edge of the cot, rubbing his fingers over the scar on Raph's finger. Donnie, Leo and Splinter all turned to each other and started talking about boring stuff. All the sudden, Raph rubbed his finger over the top of Mikey's. Mikey's head jerked up and he stared at his brother's face, his eyes were open, staring up into space.

"Raph!" he cried, the others jerked around, Donnie gasped.

"He's awake!" he cried as well, they all came to the cot, Mikey hugged Raph around the neck.

"I knew you'd be ok!" he said, Raph didn't respond, he just kept staring up at the ceiling, "Raph?" Raph's gaze traveled slowly down into Mikey's eyes, but there was no recognition, Mikey pulled away slightly, "Raph!"

"What?" Donnie asked, pushing Mikey aside a bit, "Raph?" Raph slowly, slowly turned his head to look at Donnie. He blinked. Mikey felt fresh tears well up in his eyes, just when he'd thought that he had no tears left to cry. Leo took Raph's hand.

"Raph," he choked out, "are you ok?" Raph moved his fingers along Leo's palm like they'd been doing to him for the past three weeks or so, Mikey felt his tears begin to flow.

"Raphie." he whimpered, Raph turned his head and stared at Mikey, Mikey rubbed his brothers face gently. "What's wrong with him Donnie?" Donnie had walked a few feet away and was biting his knuckles, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH RAPH!" Mikey all but yelled, Raph jerked his hand out of Leo's grasp.

"I I told you." Donnie whispered, "he has severe nerve damage, I, I was afraid of this."

"Of what Donnie?" Leo asked, "what is it?" Donnie turned back to them

"I think, I think he's not all there, like, like a brain reset. He doesn't remember anything, and he doesn't know anything about our lives." Mikey saw tears trickle out of his brothers eyes, "I'm sorry."

"That, that's not true." Mikey said, "he's there, I know it!" he spun back around to Raph, Raph's green eyes looked so big, so innocent, and Mikey knew Donnie was right, he never remembered Raph looking like that. "Oh Raphie." he took his brother's hand and stroked it again, "i'm sorry."

 _Raph, who's Raph? I feel like I should know these people, but…. Who's Raph?_ He looked at the four figures around him and closed his eyes, this was too hard, he was tired, moving was hard. The hands caressed his fingers again and he relaxed. He knew he was safe with this one, the one with spots.

"It's gonna be ok Raphie." he nodded,whoever this Raph was, it was gonna be ok.

 _Who's Raph?!_ This was all so frustrating!

Leo stared as Raph closed his eyes, scrunching them shut. Mikey was right, he did react to sound. Mikey rubbed his fingers over Raph's and hummed a lullaby, Raph visibly relaxed. Leo took a step back. Raph, he was so strong less than a month ago, joking around with Mikey and doing pushups on his sais. Leo felt tears begin to flow down his cheeks, Raph… Leo ran out of the lab, not sure where to go, but knowing that he couldn't stay there right now.

"Leo, wait!" Donnie said, running after him, "look, I know I should have warned you, But...I was worried you'd get mad." Leo shook his head.

"It's ok Don, I just,I was surprised. But I know we can still help Raph, when do you think he'll be able to walk?" Donnie pursed his lips.

"I should get his leg brace done today, maybe we can try it out tomorrow." Leo felt his stomach drop. A leg brace, how had he not remembered that? He was so upset about Raph's plastron, had Donnie been the only one to remember the fall had broken his leg as well?

"Ok." Leo choked out, "i just, need to get some air." with that Leo turned and ran out of the lair, wiping his tears away.


	5. Trial and Error

_**hey! here's the next chapter of 'do you remember me?' well, i'm guessing you've figured out the title by now but if not, you probably will!**_

 _ **thanks to daklog47 (i hope i got that right) for the kind review! i too, noticed the absence of Raphael stories and put an end to it! ya'll welcome. anyway, read and enjoy, and don't forget to review!**_

Donnie walked over to Raph and Mikey holding the metal and leather leg brace. Raph looked up at him with those innocent trusting eyes, he hoped this wasn't too uncomfortable for him. He set it down and placed a hand under Raph's back, he helped his brother into a sitting position and turned him so his legs were off the cot. He could instantly tell which leg had been broken, even though he already knew. Raph's right leg was very skinny, because they'd just taken it out of the cast, Donnie set the metal rods against Raph's dark olive skin, Raph looked down at it, probably surprised to feel the cold steel against his skin. Next, Donnie took a leather strap and wrapped it around the top, sliding it through the metal slots. Then he did it three more times, one on each side of the knee, and one at the bottom. Raph looked down at the contraption and blinked, he kicked his leg forward slightly, then watched it swing back. Donnie placed a hand under Raph's left shoulder, Mikey under his right, and they lifted him to a standing position. Raph's eyes widened, and he let them let go, he wobbled slightly, but stayed standing. He looked up at Donnie, into his eyes. Raph had never really done that before, and Donnie took the moment to notice how brilliantly green his brothers eyes were.

"Come on Raphie." Mikey urged, "walk." Raph stared into Donatello's eyes for a moment longer before directing his gaze to Mikey. He looked down at his legs and moved his left one a few inches forward, then he moved it back.

"Raph," Donnie said, "you can do it." Raph looked up and stared past them both, as if trying to see something that wasn't there. Donnie moved in front of him. "Come on Raph." Raph looked at him, he jerked away and sat back down, folding his arms. Donnie tried not to let out a sigh of frustration.

"Aww Raphie," Mikey said, "don't be like that." Raph looked over at him. Mikey smiled encouragingly, "wanna try again?" Raph turned his head away. Donnie sighed, and walked back over.

"Yeah, if you can walk out to the lair, we can watch tv." he said, Raph looked at him again, his emerald gaze just as intense, and he kicked his leg again.

"Ok then." Mikey said, and took Raph's arm, "come on." Donnie helped him get Raph into a standing position again. Raph took a few steps, leaning heavily on both of them, before trying to sit back down on the cold floor, Donnie rolled his chair over.

"Here, Raphie." he said, Raph looked at him. "Sit here, I will roll you." Raph sat gingerly down, and pushed the floor with his good leg, his eyes widened. He looked up at Donnie as he coasted along the floor for a few inches. Donnie smiled encouragingly and went behind the chair, he pushed it carefully along the floor. Raph stared at the ground moving past, then looked up at Mikey. Mikey nodded happily, Donnie leaned around, Raph's eyes sparkled, but his mouth remained in the set position it had remained in all of last night and today, a little frown, like he was trying to figure something out. Donnie rolled him out to the living room and Leo looked up.

"hey Raph." he said, "how are you doing?" Raph's brows furrowed, and he looked at the floor again,Leo sighed. Since he'd run out last night, Raph seemed to be afraid of him.

"Raphie want's to watch Crognar." Mikey declared, "let's go!" Leo sighed and handed Mikey the remote. Donnie wheeled the chair over near Mikey so Raph could see the tv, and helped him sit on the couch. Raph rubbed his fingers along the vinyl covering on the couch. Mikey turned on his favorite Crognar episode and Raph looked up, the images flickering on his glassy eyes.

Donnie sighed and brought his chair back to his lab, would Raph be like this forever? Like a child who needs to be treated as such? Or would he eventually learn to fight again. Donatello was afraid to even attempt an answer at his question. When he looked back out, raph was still sitting stiffly on the couch, next to Mikey, mesmerized by the television.

Leo watched Raph sitting next to Mikey, completely mesmerized by the tv, and sighed. Why had he let this happen? Raph may never be the same, heck, he would definitely never be the same! Donnie stood in the entrance to the lab.

"Leo!" he hissed, "come here." Leo got up and walked to his younger brother.

"What is it?" he asked, glancing back at his other two brothers.

"I think April may be able to help Raph." Donnie explains, "do you think I should ask her and Casey to come see him?" Leo bit his lip. April and Casey had come over a few times while Raph was, unconscious,

"Do they know he woke up?" he asked, Donnie shook his head.

"I thought I'd ask them to come, and then explain, easier that way."

"It's worth a shot." Leo admitted, "you can call her."

"Thanks Leo." Donnie said as he pulled out his t-phone and walked back into his lab. Leo sighed, and an intense fury began to burn in him. He didn't know what had happened to Raph, but it had something to do with that blade he'd left behind, and bee-bop. He looked around. Splinter was meditating, Donnie was busy, and Mikey and Raph were watching tv. No one would even notice he left. Leo walked out of the lair and into the sewers.

When he reached the edge of the chasm he glanced around, the dust was disturbed, had someone been here? He ran his fingers through it, maybe it had just been undisturbed since the fight Raph had somehow gotten into. He walked to the edge of the chasm, this was the first spot he could even see blood spatter, Raph had probably been trying to make bee-bop fall in, but ended up getting stabbed and thrown in himself. Leo used his grappling hook to get down to the bottom. He looked around, there, that dried patch of blood was where they'd found Raph, he stepped on something and lifted his foot. Raph's t-phone. Leo picked it up, crouching. He turned it on, amazed it had survived the fall. He saw with a jolt there was a text that hadn't gotten through, to him. He put his hand over his eyes. If this had gotten to him, Raph might be OK, but it hadn't and now Raph was….gone. He stood up, putting the phone in his belt. Leo scanned the floor of the chasm, where was that blade? Then it glinted at the edge of his vision, and he walked over to it. He picked it up and looked at it, it was a finely made weapon, made of the purest adamantium he'd ever seen. He didn't pretend to be a genius about metals, but he knew enough about his own weapon to know it was a masterpiece. He pressed a button on the strangely large handle and the blade slid into it, making it look almost harmless. Leo slid it also into his belt. Now there was one more thing he wanted to find. It took a few minutes, but he located the yellow gray chip,laying a few yards away from the sword. Raph's plastron. He touched it with his finger, and gasped. Then, using the blade as a trowel, he dug a small hole, and placed the fragment inside. Then he piled rocks on top of it and stood.

"I'm sorry Raph." he said, and his eyes burned with fierce intensity, "but I will get revenge if it's the last thing I do." then he turned and walked back home.

When he arrived at the lair, April and Casey were just arriving as well.

"Leo!" April exclaimed, "Are you OK?" Leo nodded, and shrugged.

"Don!" he called, "they're here," he stopped them going inside. "We need to tell you some stuff before you can go in." he explained, Casey looked at April nervously.

"April!" Donnie said, coming out to talk, "we, uh, we have some news."

"Oh no," April's lip began to tremble, "Raph."

"No!" Donnie said, "Well, he's alive," Leo raised an eye ridge, Donnie was going to take forever.

"He's different." he butted in, "he woke up yesterday, after we did the surgery." Donnie glared at him.

"Thank you Leonardo." he said coldly "as I was saying, I knew Raph may have some nerve damage,and that it may affect the brain, but I didn't think it would be this,severe."

"Spit it out man!" Casey said, "what's wrong with him?" Donnie sighed.

"Maybe it'd be best to let you see, now that you've had some warning." Leo moved aside and followed the two humans inside. They stopped, shell shocked when they saw Raph. He was sitting in the exact same position, staring at the tv. His mouth in a thin straight line, rubbing his hand absentmindedly over the seam in the vinyl.

"Raph?" Casey asked, he didn't respond, "what the heck man?"

"He, he kinda had a mental reset." Donnie whispered, "he's like, like a child I guess. He has to relearn everything." April put a hand over her mouth.

"Oh no." Donnie led them over to the couch and Leo walked in the back, he couldn't bear to see his brother like this.

"Hey Raphie." he said gently, taking Raph's hand, Raph slowly turned his head and looked at Donnie. "Want to say hi to April? And Casey?" Raph closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again, he turned his head to Leo, their eyes locked and Leo walked forward a bit.

"Hey Raph." he said, Raph's eyes traveled down to Leo's belt, locking onto the metal cylinder. He jerked his hand out of Donnie grasp, eyes wide, Leo backed away and everyone looked at Leo.

"What's that Leo?" Mikey asked, Leo placed his hand on the blade.

"Just, just nothing, I'll go put it away now." he stammered, did Raph remember it? He walked to his room and threw it on the bed, with Raph's t-phone. When he went back out April was sitting next to Raph, holding his hand, he rubbed his fingers over hers gently.

He should know these people too, the pale ones, with strange hands, she was nice,and she said to close his eyes. He closed them, and everything was white. But then the girl was there too, looked at him.

"Raph." she said, the frowned, he still didn't know who Raph was. He looked at her and she looked around, around at the blank white. When he looked around too, he knew it wasn't supposed to be white, well, there was some color, just at his feet. But that was all. Then he opened his eyes.

Leo looked at the two of them as April gently said Raph's name, Raph didn't respond, but April flinched. Then they opened their eyes.

"I'm sorry." April said, "but, I couldn't see anything, his mind is just...blank."

"It was worth a try." Donnie said, "thanks for trying April."

"I'd always try." April whispered, as tears fell onto hers and Raph's hands. Raph looked down slowly, and brushed them off, then did the same for her cheeks. Leo wanted to hug him right then, even though his mind was gone, Raph was still there, he knew it, and since Raph wouldn't pummel his face off, he did. Leo sat next to his brother and wrapped his arms around him, Raph rubbed Leo's hand like Leo had done as he sat by the cot.

"I'm not giving up on you Raph." Leo whispered in his brother's ear, "not now, not ever."

 ** _awww, leo! anyway, i hope you like this chapter, i and i'm sure you'll have teared up a bit but no worries! there's plenty happy parts a little later, well, a few happy parts anyway. enjoy and au revoir!_**


	6. I Think

"Come on Raph, just eat a little" Mikey urged his brother, holding a spoon of ramen temptingly in front of his mouth. Raph looked at it. Mikey gingerly moved his brother's lips apart, and to his surprise, Raph let him put the ramen in his mouth. Mikey watched as his brother swallowed, and then looked up at him.

"Want more?" Mikey asked, Raph's eyes widened, so he got another spoonful. When the bowl was empty Mikey hugged Raph.

"Good job Mikey" Donnie commented, "at least he's eaten now." Mikey grinned

"It's what I do." he boasted proudly. Mikey looked around. "Where's Leo?" Donnie shrugged.

"In his room probably. He's gone in there a lot lately."

"Oh." Mikey said, "Donnie?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know what that thingy Leo had when April and Casey were over is? The thing that made Raphie freak out?" Donnie sighed.

"I have an idea of what it may be." he replied, "and it doesn't matter. It isn't dangerous if Leo has it."

"Uh, ok." Mikey said, "I'm gonna go see if Leo's ok." he got up and Raph stared at where he'd been a moment before, but he kept going, all his brothers were important, not just Raph. He knocked on Leo's door.

"What?" Leo asked from inside.

"You ok Leo?" Mikey Asked, "I'm worried about you." Leo opened the door.

"I'm fine, I just, Raph seems to be uncomfortable around me and I want him to recover as fast as possible." Mikey frowned.

"He's never gonna warm up to you if you stay away." he pointed out, "come on out Leo." Leo looked over his shoulder at something in his room.

"Maybe, maybe I will in a little bit." he said, "later Mikey." Leo closed the door. Mikey looked at it for a second, then turned back to the lab. He walked in and looked at Donnie, he was clicking away on his laptop. He looked at Raph, he was gone!

"Donnie!" he shouted, Donnie spun around, annoyance written across his face.

"What?"

"WHERE. IS. RAPH." he growled, pointing to the empty chair, Donnie's jaw dropped open,

"He, he can't walk." he said, "Where did he go?"

"I left him with you for five seconds, and you lose him!" Mikey shouted, "are you serious?" he grabbed Donnie's plastron, "how could he have gotten away from you if you weren't looking at your precious little lab stuff? Huh?"

"Look," Donnie said, "I didn't expect him to,"

"I don't care!" Mikey yelled, "you should have been talking to him, not ignoring him!" he let go of Donnie and Donnie jumped to his feet, now angry as well.

"It's not like it's all my fault Mikey!" he shouted, "you left him too!"

"I left him WITH YOU!" Mikey shouted in his brother's face.

*CLANG*

Mikey spun around, Raph was standing in the doorway to the lab, staring at them.

"Raph!" he exclaimed, "where? How?" he looked at the table, the bowl and spoon were gone, Raph had put them away. Donnie sighed with relief.

"Thank goodness." Raph walked slowly to the chair and sat down, staring at the wall as if he'd never left, maybe he didn't even know he had.

"I'm sorry we were yelling Raphie." Mikey said, sitting next to him,. "We won't anymore I promise." he rubbed Raph's hand again, even though he was awake, and Raph looked down at the two green hands. One bright yellow/green, one dark jade green. He pulled his hands away and touched the wrappings on his chest, picking at them absentmindedly. Donnie walked over.

"We can't unwrap your chest yet Raph." he said, "not yet." Raph lowered his hands and they hung limply at his sides. He looked exhausted.

"Want to go to bed now?" Mikey Asked, Raph looked up at him, and Mikey took that as a yes, "c'mon." he helped his brother stand and walked him to the cot, Raph lay down without help, which made Mikey happy. Maybe Leo was right and he would get better, if only he would remember them, or if he did, show it. He sat by his brother and looked deep into the emerald eyes of his brother.

"You remember me, right Raphie?" he whispered, Raph closed his eyes and fell asleep. Mikey sighed and stood up, he'd never imagined a world where he took care of one of his brothers like this, especially Raph of all people! He walked out of the lab to tell Leo Raph was asleep.

Donnie got up after Mikey left and walked over to the cot, he sat on the edge and Raph opened his eyes again, Donnie thought he saw something there, or was he imagining it?

"You're still there, aren't you Raph?" he asked, Raph blinked, and fell asleep again. Donnie sighed, and caressed Raph's hand. He remembered once, a few years ago, when he'd gotten sick and Raph never left his side.

 _Donnie blinked awake, "Raph?" a calloused hand rubbed his, and he sat up, "what's going on?"_

" _You got sick Don." Raph said, "real sick, are you ok?" Donnie rubbed his head._

" _I don't, how long, I only remember being in my lab."_

" _You need to eat more Donnie." Raph said, "you can't keep doing this to yourself." Donnie sighed._

" _I needed to work," he said, "i can skip a few meals and pull a few all nighters."_

" _Not if you kill yourself in the process." Raph said, "i just walked in and you, you were just laying there." he looked down, "you can't keep doing this." Donnie looked around._

" _Where'r Leo and Mikey?"_

" _Still out." Raph said, "they don't even know you're sick don, master Splinter helped me get you settled." Donnie glanced around, he was on the cot in the corner of the lab. His half finished model of a tracker device lay on the table._

" _I gotta finish that." he said, "Leo wanted it for patrol tonight." Raph put his hands on Donnie's shoulders._

" _Numbskull, there ain't gonna be patrol until you get better." he growled, "as soon as Leo gets back he'll agree, I swear by it." Donnie sighed._

" _It won't help any of us if I can't do anything."_

" _I thought you were smart." Raph huffed, "it'll help you, and if you're healthy, it helps us all, now rest!" Donnie smiled._

" _Ok Raph." he promised._

Donnie's tears fell onto his brother's bandaged chest and he got up, he'd not slept last night, he'd not slept for a week, trying to help Raph. Well, he needed to help Raph the most he could. Donnie got up, closed his laptop, and went to his bedroom to take a nap.

" _I won't give up on you Raph." he had said, hugging him tightly, "not now, not ever."_

" _You remember me, right Raphie?" the spotted one had said, as he fell into this slumber._

" _You're still there Raph, I know it." the tall one had whispered, rubbing his hand._

 _I think, I think my name is Raph. Raph reached into the corners of his mind, he knew his name. But nothing else. He sighed and looked at his feet, where the colors were, and he remembered that when the tall one touched the black thing, it made words on the glowing part. Maybe he could make words too…_ Raph opened his eyes, he was alone, the black thing sat on the table, just waiting. He turned, slowly, slowly and got to his feet. He frowned, focusing on his feet. The left one moved, and then the right one. Then he was at the table, he lifted the top of the black thing. And he saw the glowing part light up. He frowned, looking at the shapes on the buttons, he placed his fingers on them and pressed the ones that felt right. Then he turned and went back to his cot.

Donnie woke up refreshed, and went back out to the lab, Raph was still asleep, but the laptop was open, he frowned. He could have sworn he closed it. Donnie shrugged it off and sat on his chair, but as his fingers hovered above the keys his eyes widened.

 **I think my name is Raph**

"Raph," he whispered, and turned to look at his sleeping brother, his eyelids fluttered, as if he was dreaming, and Donnie jumped to his feet, grabbing his laptop. "Guys!"

"What is it Donnie?" Leo asked, running in.

"Lo-look at this." Donnie stuttered, and Leo squinted, his eyes widened.

"No...really?" he gasped, Mikey came up behind them, he saw the looks on their faces and looked at the screen. Right there, in the middle of Donnie's notes, were those six words they'd wanted to hear for so long, ok, maybe not those words exactly, but they had to take what they could get.

Leo sat on the couch next to Mikey and Donnie, Splinter had taken Raph into the dojo, to try and get him to meditate, it didn't sound like it was going very well.

"Raphael, we must be still as we meditate" and "Raphael, please let go of my ear." that was when they had left the door so they didn't hear as much.

"What do you think's going on now?" Mikey asked as they heard an annoyed snort from master Splinter, Leo shrugged.

"Maybe he's breathing too loud," he joked, Mikey grinned,

"or looking around too much." it was true, Raph had seemed to be looking around himself more, instead of staring at one spot for hours.

"Raphael!" Splinter said, Leo glanced at Donnie worriedly. "Sit down!" Leo got up and walked to the dojo, Splinter was looking at Raph as he wandered across to a shelf on the far side of the room, Raph slid open the drawer that was underneath and took out a few white cloths. He looked at them for a moment. And then sat down where he was, meditating. "Well then, thank you Raphael." Splinter said, his eyes softening. Leo backed up again, and sat down at the couch. Donnie looked at him.

"What was it now?" Leo opened his mouth to speak, but only a faint gurgling noise came out, he closed it again.

"Uh, I think he died." Mikey joked, "bleh!" Leo rolled his eyes

"Haha." he said, "i'm not dead."

"Well that's a relief." Donnie said sarcastically, Mikey shrugged.

"Just trying to joke around." he said lightly.

"Raphael, where are you going?" Leo looked up, Raph was walking out of the dojo, wrapping his fingers in the white cloths, not even noticing what he was doing. When he was done, he knelt again and resumed his meditation. Splinter came out, and when he saw Raph meditating his eyebrows raised.

"Maybe that is enough meditation for today my son." he said, "get up." Raph opened his eyes and looked around. Leo helped him to his feet and Raph stared blankly at him.

"You have no idea why you did that huh?" Leo asked him, "that's ok, I do." Raph looked at him for a moment and walked to the couch, he sat down and rubbed his fingers along the seam again. Leo looked at Master Splinter, "I think it almost worked." he said, Splinter nodded.

"He seems to have muscle memory of things, but does not know why he does them." he replied, " like when he typed on Donatello's keyboard, he did not understand what he was doing." Leo sighed.

"Why, why can't he have muscle memory of how to talk to us? I just want, I just want to hear his voice again." Splinter put his hands on Leo's shoulders.

"It also takes a great power and remembrance in the brain to speak." he said gently, "but he may, in time, remember how." Leo nodded and looked at Raph again, he felt the anger burn deep inside. The next time he saw that smirking pig face, he would not let it leave unharmed.


	7. Names and Faces

_**hi again guys! sorry it's been a while but life has been crazy...yeah. anyway, this is chapter six of do you remember me? i hope you enjoy, the song**_ _ **lyrics**_ _ **i used are from Brave by sara bareilles. so, yeah i hope you enjoy and remember to review!**_

Mikey knelt next to Raph, he reached over and pressed the button on the radio, "come on dude, let the music clear your mind" he said in a somewhat good impression of master Splinter, "and breathe dude." he frowned as the song came on, not one of his personal favorites, but Raph's eyes had widened, so he left it on.

 _You can be amazing, you can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug, you can be the outcast, you can be the backlash of somebody's lack of love, or you can start speaking up._ Mikey's eyes widened as well as he listened to the words for the first time, he looked at Raph, who was staring at the speakers as if they were talking right to him, it was the most together he'd seen his brother for two months.

 _Say what you want to say, and let your words fall out, honestly, I wanna see you be brave!_ Raph nodded slightly and Mikey felt joy rush through him, Raph's eyes looked real again, not glossed over.

 _Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down by the enemy, fallen for the fear and done some disappearing, bow down to the mighty…_

"You like this song Raphie?" he asked, Raph kept looking at the speakers though,and Mikey felt his heart sink. Maybe he wasn't completely cured by music after all. "I do too, now." he whispered.

 _I wanna see you be brave!_

The song ended,and a new one came on the radio, Raph turned away from the speakers and his eyes glossed over again, Mikey frowned, was it just that song? Like the tune? Or, he gasped, or the lyrics?

He knew he had to do what the box told him, but he couldn't, he couldn't talk. He'd tried so many times, but his lips refused to move on their own. He looked at Mikey now sadly, he'd figured out this ones name, and the others, but now all he had was names, names and faces. He looked at his hands, he didn't know why he'd put the cloths on them, but it was important, really important.

"Guess what?" Donnie asked, walking over to them, "today we get to see your new plastron!" he looked up at him, he was tall. Really tall. Raph picked at the cloth that covered his chest and his eyes widened when he realised what Donnie meant. He could take it off today.

Donnie gently unwrapped Raph's upper abdomen and peeked underneath, the synthetic plastron had sealed, meaning it would hopefully grow as Raph grew, it was a slightly different color, but this way he could keep tabs on it. He lifted the bandages off so Mikey could see, Leo was still in his room but had promised to come out in half an hour, Mikey hadn't wanted to wait and Leo said it was ok. Mikey stared, and Donnie knew why, he'd purposefully left the original lightning shaped crack as untouched as possible, beebop had made it look different, obviously, but it still looked very close.

"I just," he whispered, "he would never be the same without it." Mikey's eyes filled with tears.

"That's just great Donnie." he said, "just great." Donnie watched as Raph lowered his gaze to his chest, he patted the synthetic material and frowned. Raph ran his finger along the edge of the lightning shaped section Don had left. He looked up at them, and Donnie resisted the urge to grab his older brother's shoulder and shake him, to joggle the stuck parts loose and make his mind work again. He sighed, if only people were more like machines, he'd have fixed his older brother as soon as they realised something was wrong, not sat and stared for two months, not knowing how to help. Raph looked into his eyes and Donnie couldn't tear his gaze away, it was like, Raph was searching for something. He patted Raph's head and smiled.

"Now you can work on walking more Raphie." he said, "you know, when you know what you're doing."

"What did I miss?" Leo asked, walking in, he saw Raph and his face lit up. "Hey Raph, how are you?" Raph turned his head to look at Leo, and patted his shell again, his eyes sparkled, but his lips didn't even twitch, Donnie frowned, he'd look into that later. Leo walked over to the cot and Raph shrank back a bit, his gaze froze, and he looked terrified. Leo stopped.

"Oh." he said, and looked at Donnie, "I'm going out." Donnie nodded and Leo left again. He sighed, why was Raph so afraid of Leo?

Leo stormed through the sewers, running his fingers along the edge of beebops blade, why Raph was sick, why he was afraid of Leo, this was all beebops fault, and Leo was going to avenge his brother. Now, today. He walked suddenly towards the shredder's lair, that was most likely where the pig mutant was, so he would just test how well the blade worked until he found him. The rage that had smoldered in his chest for so long was tempting to erupt, but he told himself to save it for the one who had done this, baxter stockman would get a fair share of rage as well.

When he got to the roof of shredder's lair, he crashed through and held his own two katanas ready, leaving the metal cylinder in his belt.

"just when I thought I'd have to send out party's looking again." shredder laughed, "you come to me, just think, the two oldest turtles dead byu my hands." Leo glared at him,a nd the realisation struck, shredder thought Raph was dead. He glared at the masked man.

"You and all your minions will pay for what you did to Raphael." he snarled, "but first, my first quarrel is with bebop and baxter stockman." shredder looked at him for a moment. Then pressed a button on his armrest.

"Beebop and baxter please come to me." he rumbled, and Leo frowned.

"You,want me to kill your minions?"

"No, I want entertainment." shredder shrugged, "you cannot defeat them, we have newly engineered weapons." Leo felt relieved, shredder hadn't seen that he had one of those newly engineered weapons.

"Master shredder." buzzed baxter stockman, flying in, "you wanted my...a turtle?"

"Yo what's up?" that was beebop, Leo's blood ran red hot through his veins, "you called fo me?"

"This turtle seems to think he has a quarrel with you bebop." shredder said, "may I ask why?"

"Uh…" bebop said, "maybe, maybe he saw a pig print or something? I told you the red ones dead and no one saw me and rocksteady." Leo glared at him.

"I am a ninja you idiot," he said, "if I don't want to be spotted I won't be."

"Oh," beebop said, "well, at least I wasn't lying about the dead guy." Leo felt the fury burst out of him.

"YOU!" he yelled, "YOU ARE THE ONE WHO RUINED MY BROTHER'S LIFE!" he ran at the mutant pig and he dodged, whipping out an identical cylinder, he sliced through Leo's katanas, Leo frowned, that was bad, but he grabbed the one he'd recovered from the chasm. "Let's level the playing field." he said, and grinned as the blade popped out, beebop gulped.

When Leo was finished, beebop lay on the floor whimpering, and baxter had lost one wing, he glared at shredder. "I don't have any more business here tonight." he said evenly and jumped to the roof, shredder glared after him. He ran home as quickly as possible, and was met by a frantic Mikey.

"Leo! Donnie said to find you, Raph took a nap and now he," Mikey gulped, "he won't wake up!" Leo stared at his youngest brother.

"What?" he asked, and pushed past him into the lab, "Donnie!"

"Leo! I, I don't know, he was perfectly fine when you left!" Donnie was next to Raph, holding smelling salts under his nose, "but now, he just won't respond! It's like he's in a coma!" Leo pushed past him and looked at Raph, he dropped the adamantium blade from his hand and stared at his brother, Donnie gasped.

"Leo, where were you, and what did you do?" Leo looked at himself, he was peppered with bruises and his sheaths were empty, he'd left his mangled katanas back at shredder's lair.

"I was…"he didn't say anything, "it's done now, I can't change the past." Donnie grabbed his shoulder and spun him around, staring at him.

"Leo, what did you do?" he almost yelled, Leo avoided his gaze.

"I was just," he stammered, "it doesn't concern you."

"Leo, what's going on?" Mikey asked, "you've been acting weird lately." Leo sighed.

"I was, getting, revenge." he gasped, his eyes burning with hot anger, "this should never have happened." Donnie gasped.

"Leo, you went to THE SHREDDER? Are you insane?" Leo glared at him.

"I went to the shredder's hideout, I didn't fight him." he growled, "i got beebop and baxter, they're the ones who hurt Raph." Donnie let go of Leo and hid his face in his hands.

"Leo, why? You could have died!" Leo looked away, and looked back at Raph, who was lying very still, too still for his liking. He grabbed Raph's shoulders and shook him, trying to wake him up.

"Whoa Leo!" Mikey cried, "calm down bro!" Leo couldn't calm down, Raph had to wake up and be normal, he'd gotten his revenge, now Raph would be ok. Right? Donnie pulled him away, Leo fought to stay with Raph.

"No! Let me wake him up!" he shrieked, trying to break free from Donnie's grip, "LET GO OF ME!" Donnie's eyes filled with tears as Leo felt a needle prick his neck.

"Sorry Leo."

"It's just a sedative." don assured Mikey, who was looking horror struck as don picked Leo up, "he was in shock."

"Oh." Mikey said, looking relieved, "ok." Donnie set Leo on the couch,

"You watch him, ok?"

"Like a turtle do!" Mikey said, and Donnie assumed this was a yes.

"I'll see what I can do for Raph." he told the freckled young turtle, "call me if you need me." Mikey nodded and gave him a thumbs up, so Donnie went back to his lab. To his surprise, Splinter was there, watching Raph sleep. Ok, that was a bad description, however accurate it may be.

"Sensei!" he said, "wha, what are you doing?" Splinter turned and saw the jar of smelling salts still in Donatello's hand.

"Raphael will not need those my son." he said and Donnie's eyes widened.

"He's not-"

"He is not dead." Splinter assured him, "he has put himself in a deep meditative trance."

"Oh." Donnie said, he was meditating? "Does that mean…" Splinter shrugged .

"I do not know exactly what is means." he replied, "now, Leonardo does need our help." he held up the adamantium blade, "let us wake him." Donnie nodded and led Splinter out to the living room. Mikey looked up.

"Hey sensei, Leo was freaking out and Donnie was all like, evil science dude jabbing needles and-"

"What?" Donnie asked, "that isn't, exactly, how it happened." Splinter laughed

"I saw what happened Donatello, you did the right thing under circumstance" Donnie nodded.

"Thank you sensei." he said, "i can wake him up now if you want." Splinter shook his head.

"Bring him into the dojo first, I will talk to him."

"Hai sensei." he said, and picked Leo up again, a chill raced through him. Had Leo always been this light? He didn't think so. He lay Leo down on a mat in the dojo, and Splinter took the salts, he gestured for don to leave, so he did.

Leo woke to a really nasty smell, what was going on? He opened his eyes, he was laying in the dojo, sensei knelt next to him, holding a small jar under his nose. As he saw Leo's eyes open he set it aside, Leo sat up.

"S-Sensei?" he asked, he remembered Donnie crying, and a needle. Had Donnie, tranquilized him?

"Leonardo." Splinter said, "how do you feel?" Leo grasped for what to say, betrayed? Hurt? Then he knew what sensei meant. He meant other than that, he meant about Raph.

"I," Leo took a breath, "i feel confused. I don't even know why Raph got hurt, whether to say it was his fault for wanting to fight, or if something else happened with beebop and rocksteady, he knows he can't take on the two of them." he looked up at Splinter. "And, this one part of me only wants revenge." he sighed, "i'm an idiot master Splinter."

"Yes." master Splinter said, and Leo looked at the floor "and no." Leo raised his head quizzically.

"Sensei?" he asked, Splinter chuckled.

"We can all act like idiots, but that is not who we are."

"Oh," Leo said, "sensei, i, I went to the shredder's lair today." Splinter nodded and he took a shaky breath. "I, I thought I got revenge, on baxter and beebop. But, I still feel…" his eyes widened. "Raph! We have to wake him up!" Splinter placed a hand on Leo's shoulder.

"Raphael will be fine." he said sternly, "i, I am worried about you Leonardo." Leo looked at his legs, he turned into a kneeling position, but it did little to hide the fact that they were scratched, bruised, and discolored from their usual blue/green color.

"You don't," Leo stopped himself, "I'm fine sensei." Splinter leaned down to look into his eyes.

"When was the last time you ate a meal with your brothers Leonardo?" Leo froze. He avoided his father's binding gaze.

"That- that's beside the point." he stammered, sensei looked deeper into his eyes and Leo sighed . "Raph, he's afraid of me for some reason. He always just goes back into his shell and, he won't eat if I'm there, he just...stares at me."

"I see." Splinter said, "have you eaten other times?" Leo shook his head,

"I guess, I just forget, but it's only been a few, days, since I ate. I can eat some today and be fine."

"Leonardo," sensei said, as if he had a sudden thought. "Do you remember very much from when you were young?" Leo frowned, " _before_ Raphael's first accident?"

"Well," Leo said, "not really,i mean, I know he changed a lot around when we were six or seven…" he frowned. It was true, before that Raph hadn't been as, rough. Weird.

"I see." Splinter said, "i would like you to meditate with me Leonardo."


	8. In Remembrance

**_ok, before you read, yes i made leo a jerk, but all small kids can be jerks without realizing so just chillax already._**

 ** _daklog73, sorry about getting it wrong last time. even i am not quite sure which Raph is afraid of, but it's mostly the sword, and we will see what raph is meditating about...after we see what leo meditates about!_**

 ** _thanks for reading and enjoy!_**

Leo scowled, where was he? Oh yeah, meditating with Splinter, but...this was, a long time ago, before Raph's plastron had been cracked the first time.

" _Hey Raphie!" Mikey exclaimed running up to the young red masked turtle, "look at this!" Raph smiled._

" _That's cool Mikey." he said, "have you seen Leo?" Mikey shrugged._

" _Over There?" Leo frowned, he didn't remember this… and then he did, his gut twisted. Raph hurried over to the young Leonardo, who was at the practice dummy with wooden katanas._

" _Hey Leo!" he exclaimed, Leo turned._

" _Hi Raphael." he said, and smiled, "what's up?"_

" _Can you show me how to do that?" Raph asked, Leo smiled, they had been best friends, what had happened?_

" _I dunno," young Leo looked at the ground, "it's really hard, and you need to be really fast…" young Leo smirked, "and, you know, you are the slowest." young Raph's head drooped._

" _Oh, right." he said, "see ya Leo." he walked away and young Leo shrugged, going back to his practicing, Leo remembered it clearly now, they had just turned six, and he had started noticing the differences between him and his younger brothers, and, being immature, pointed them out._

 _Now they were seven, a few months before Raph's accident. They were training with Splinter. Raph was struggling to balance on the small wooden sticks sensei had set up all over the dojo floor. They had to try to get across the room without touching the floor. Leo was already most of the way across, Mikey had jumped across like a squirrel, and was waiting with Splinter. Donnie was about a yard behind Leo, and three yards ahead of Raph. He was narrowing his eyes, calculating the best way across. Leo smiled, these were great memories, so why did he have a horrible sinking feeling?_

" _Hurry up slowpoke!" young Leo called to young Raph, who Leo, at a different angle then he had been then, saw tears brimming in young Raph's eyes._

" _Hah! Slowpoke! Slowpoke!" Mikey called, pointing his finger, Splinter raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Donnie rolled his eyes._

" _As long as he gets across," he said, "he can do it as fast as he needs." young Raph looked up angrily._

" _I can do it fast!" he said, "Watch!" he jumped with precision from his peg to the next, then another, then when he landed again he wobbled, his large green eyes widened. "Uh oh!" young Raph toppled over, knocking all the pegs over like dominoes, Leo fell and so did Donnie._

" _Nice going Raph!" young Leo yelled, "you just keep messing up! You have big feet, and can't move smoothly, and you're slow! You might never be a ninja!"_

" _Leonardo!" Splinter scolded, young Leo looked up, mad._

" _What?" young Leo asked, "he might not!" Young Raph was standing with his head bowed, trying to fade into the background._

" _You won't either if you insult your brother!" Splinter snapped, and young Raph backed up, then turned and ran out of the dojo. Leo followed him, he already knew what happened in the dojo, he was made to set every wooden peg up again. Young Raph ran into the room he shared with Leo, and sat on his bed, eyes filled with tears._

" _Maybe Leo's right, I'll never be stealthy, I know that, and I'll never be fastest." he grumbled, and his eyes fell on a comic book with superman on the cover, he jumped up and picked it up. "But I just might be the strongest."_

" _Leo! Guys! Wait up!" Young Raph called from the sewers, young Leo turned to run backwards._

" _You hurry up, slowpoke!" he yelled, Raph stumbled and tripped, as they ran ahead._

" _Guys!" he called, but Leo knew that he and Mikey and Donnie had ignored Raph's calls for help, laughing about him getting lost. Raph got to his feet and pressed on, taking the one wrong turn that led to a horrifying crack on the ground. It was several hours later that Leo and the others had gotten worried about Raph, and went back out to find him. That's when Leo had heard his brother's voice._

" _Leo! Anybody?" Leo hadn't responded, not knowing where his brother was, "guys?"_

" _Raph?" he called instinctively._

" _Leo! I'm, ow!" Leo ran to the edge of a chasm he'd been warned never to get near, Raph was kneeling, clutching his chest, gasping for breath. He'd noted how strong his brother must be to survive such a fall, and that he wasn't even crying._

" _I'm, my plastron, it, cracked," Raph said, removing his hand for a moment, young Leo's eyes widened._

" _Mikey!" he shouted to the small orange masked turtle, "get master Splinter! Quick!" Mikey ran off with Donnie to get their father, and young Leo tried to talk to his now still brother, lying on the chasm floor._

" _Raph?" young Leo asked, kneeling next to his brother, "Are you ok?" Raph opened his eyes, and glared at Leo._

" _I'm fine, it's just a crack." Leo was astonished._

" _But, sensei said that our plastrons and shells are really important, we would die without them."_

" _Maybe, if you're WEAK" young Raph said, getting up on his elbows and sticking his face next to Leo's, "but i'm STRONG. stronger than any of you, wimps!" Leo's eyes widened, Raph had never acted like this before._

" _Raph, I'm sorry we left you behind." he said, "really sorry."_

" _No." young Raph said, lying back down and closing his eyes, "you're not, and you know what?" his eyes snapped open, "i don't care, I'll be a superhero one day Leo, and I'll leave YOU GUYS behind. So there." he closed his eyes again. "Now, sensei says if I sleep, I'll get strong, so that's what I'M gonna do. Go away." Young Leo got up and walked slowly out of the dojo, he turned and looked at his sleeping brother._

" _I sure am sorry Raphie."_

" _NEVER call me Raphie, ever again." Raph growled. Leo nodded and closed the sliding door behind him._

" _Hajame!" Splinter commanded Leo narrowed his eyes at ten year old Raph. He took out his wooden katanas and held them in defensive, Raph grabbed his sais, which were already metal, just dulled. Splinter said it was really hard to make wooden sais. Raph ran at him, anger fueling his mad dash for victory._

" _Hey! Leo!" he yelled, and Leo jumped up above his head, Raph did a front flip into the air and knocked him down, he smirked, "better be faster than that, lame-o-nardo." he hissed so that master Splinter didn't hear, young Leo glared at him._

" _You think you're so tough!" he yelled, "well, I could beat you any day!"_

" _Wanna bet?" Raph growled back, raising his sais, "try." young Leo ran at his brother, swinging his katanas wildly. Raph sidestepped, and knocked one sword out of Leo's hands, hooking the arm with his sai in a signature move, young Leo's eyes widened as he was flung forward onto the floor, is teeth clashed together as his chin hit the rug._

" _Yame!" Splinter said, and Raph helped Leo up, then turned away and rubbed his hand on his shell, as if getting rid of something nasty. "You both did well." Splinter said, "so, I have decided you are old enough, for these." he stepped aside, the two young turtle's eyes widened as they say a pair of new shiny katana blades, and two new, sharper, sais._

" _Wow!" young Raph said, taking the sais, "i can totally beat you guys every time now!"_

" _You are not to use them on each other unless we are sparring." Splinter said sternly, "and today I wish to teach you about your weapons." young Leo took his katanas and knelt before his father._

" _Hai sensei." he said, holding his head high, young Raph glared at him, but did the same._

" _Leonardo, you have the katanas, because of your undying courage and knowledge of right and wrong, the katana is a noble weapon, that was once only given to the top ninja warriors, do not live down the expectations." young Leo's eyes gleamed as he nodded, Splinter turned to young Raph. "Raphael, you have the sai, it is the most complicated of the ninja weapons, except for possibly nunchucks, but they are shorter than the katana because you rely more on your strength." Young Raph's eyes gleamed when he realised that his father had called him strong._

" _Yes sensei." he said, bowing, his eyes still shining happily._

" _Now, why don't you go see what interesting dish Michelangelo has prepared today." Splinter said, "he is most gifted in the kitchen."_

 _Leo felt tears run down his cheeks as he watched the two younger turtles go out into the lair, why had he let this happen to him and Raph? They had been best friends, and he'd been such a jerk! He sighed, he didn't want to meditate anymore, he wanted to go see Raph. Leo opened his eyes._

"Leonardo," Splinter said, and Leo jumped, "you are done meditating?"

"Yes sensei." Leo said, bowing, "I'll go eat, and then I'll sit with Raph for a while." Splinter nodded and Leo got up, he realised the tears were still on his face and wiped them away. Mikey was sitting in the lair, looking bored, Leo smiled.

"Mikey, can you make me something to eat?" he asked, "I'd be very grateful." his younger brother grinned at him.

"Leo! You woke up! I'll do that right now!"

"I'll be in Donnie's lab!" Leo called after him and walked through the big metal was working on his computer, Raph lay as still as ever, barely breathing, but Leo could see the faint rise and fall of his chest, and knew he was all right. Leo pulled the stool over and sat next to Raph, he picked up the picture that had sat there for two months.

"I'm," he choked, and whispered, "I'm sorry Raph, I Was, I was a jerk, and that's why you're hurt. But, I'll try to never be a jerk again."

"Leo?" Mikey asked, "i made you a Mikey special pb&j!" Leo smiled, taking the plate from his youngest brother.

"Thanks Mikey." he said, "can you tell master Splinter I'll need new katana blades? I lost mine."

"Uh, ok." Mikey said,and turned to the dojo, he walked out and Leo took a bite from the sandwich, to his surprise, it was plain pb&j, nothing weird, he smiled.

"Thanks Mikey."


	9. Snippets of the Past

_Raph knew these images were his life, and he had to pay attention. First he was five,then six, then he turned ten and got new sais, his sais! He had to get those when he woke up! And he had to train! He was going to be the strongest of his brothers! Now he was fifteen._

" _It is a cake!" Donnie exclaimed, Raph reached forward and licked his finger._

" _Made of, algae," he said, "and, worms."_

" _What's the frosting made of?" Leo asked, Mikey pulled the cake away,_

" _You don't wanna know." he replied._

" _Tell us the story sensei!"_

" _I have told it many times!" Splinter Replied, Splinter! that was the rat! His father!_

" _Tell is again!" Mikey pleaded, "please!"_

" _Please!" Raph said, "it's the only way to shut Mikey up." Raph listened to his father's tale for the hundredth time. Then, later that night…_

" _It's not like any food I ever saw." he said, astonished._

" _I'll try it." Mikey offered, 'bravely', he took a slice of the pizza and bit the tip off, his eyes widened as he shoved the restin his mouth, ending in a long burp. "I mean, you guys won't like it, i'll take the rest!"_

" _No way!" Leo said, and they all grabbed slices, Raph's eyes bugged out._

" _I never thought I'd taste anything better than algae and worms," he said, "but this is amazing!" they all nodded. Raph and his, his brothers! They were his brothers! They stayed out late, exploring this amazing new world. Then, when they were supposed to go home, Donnie froze._

" _Guys, look at that!" they all turned. It was, a human girl, "she's the most beautiful girl I ever saw!" Donnie exclaimed, practically drooling._

" _Isn't she the, only girl you ever saw?" Raph asked, smiling._

" _My point still stands." Donnie said defensively. They got into a fight when some guys tried to kidnap the girls, and ended up succeeding._

" _Guys! That guy, he, he, he had a brain!"_

" _We all have brains Mikey." Leo said,_

" _Not all of us!" Donnie declared, Raph looked at Mikey, he looked a little too freaked out._

" _You feeling ok?" well, that's what he was planning on saying._

" _Let's just go," Leo said, before he had the chance, so instead Raph just shook his head at his younger brother._

" _Heh could be going to, church!"_

" _Wearing powered battle armor? What kind of church is that?"_

" _A super awesome one."_

" _What the shell?"_

 _Then, the scariest thing he'd ever seen, so far…_

" _Donnie, what would happen if I broke the power cell?" Leo asked as they fought._

" _This whole place would blow!" Donnie said, then frowned, Raph stared at Leo._

" _Leo, you can't seriously be thinking," but Leo cut him off._

" _You guys go." he demanded, Raph saw his younger brothers obeying and grudgingly followed, he hoped Leo knew what he was doing. Then, when he was gliding with those wings, he got an idea. They hovered near the building, and it blew up, Raph watched the falling wreckage closely, there! Leo! He swooped, oh no, he wasn't fast enough, as usual, he nose dived and caught his brother an instant before he hit the ground,_

" _Screw gravity!" he said, Leo smiled at him._

" _Thanks Raph." he said, breathless, Raph nodded at him._

" _Well, that was easy." Mikey Said, as he and Donnie joined the two of them gliding along the skyline. Then, the technodrome came._

" _Donnie! Mikey! Go!" Leo yelled, Raph stared at him, he was single handedly holding kraang prime back, to save them, his brothers._

" _Leo! No!" Raph yelled, "we won't leave without you!"_

" _Go! Now!" Leo yelled, Donnie pulled Raph inside and Mikey closed the pod sadly. Raph pressed his hands against the glass as they flew away without Leo._

" _Leonardo." he whispered. The technodrome crashed into the ocean with Leo inside, Raph sat in despair. "He's gone, All the, all the stuff I never said to him, if he were here i'd do it all over,"_

" _Really?" they all spun around, there Leo was, alive and well. They hauled him up into the boat and embraced him._

" _Never scare us like that again." Raph scolded him._

 ** _ _ok, here's another chapter, sorry it's so short. just pretend there's way more memories that he dreams during this chapter because i was too lazy to write them all, i mean, four seasons come on guys. anyway, remember to review! thanks for__** ** _ _reading__** ** _ _!__**


	10. Secrets and Surprises

_**alrighty, before you read i want to make sure you know that all the medical science is made up by me. i**_ _ **honestly**_ _ **don't know if any of this is correct so just deal with it.**_ _ **anyway**_ _ **, thanks for all your amazing reviews, and don't forget to review this chapter! enjoy!**_

Leo sat by Raph while he slept. He sighed as Raph twitched, then lay as still as ever. He suddenly got a horrible feeling, he knew they had to go on patrol, he didn't know why, but they did.

"Donnie." he said, the purple masked turtle turned.

"Yeah Leo?"

"Get ready for patrol in a half hour." he said, "and go tell Mikey too." Donnie looked surprised, but got up and left to find the youngest turtle. Mikey came in with a new katana, and the adamantium one Leo had left with sensei.

"Uh, Splinter said to let you use this one…" he said nervously, Leo took it, it was the same size and shape as his, so he slid them both into his sheath.

"Get ready for patrol." he said, "I have a feeling we need to go." Mikey and Donnie looked at each other.

"Splinter said the same thing actually, that's why he want's you to use that." Mikey said, nodding to the sword, "he thinks you may need it…" Leo nodded.

"Let's go now." he decided, "i need to follow my gut instinct today." he was surprising himself with what was coming out of his own mouth, but he knew it was right. Mikey and Donnie nodded, they each went to retrieve their weapons, Leo took a paper and scribbled a note down to Splinter, telling him they left early, he thought it was going to be important. Donnie and Mikey came back, they seemed to have picked up on a bit of what Leo was feeling, Leo nodded to them and they left the lair silently.

" _Let's see if that fly guy was right about this!" beebop said, holding up the cylinder, he pressed a button and a sleek new blade slid out. "Fancy right? He said it's adamantium, should cut right through their shells." Raph's eyes widened._

" _No, NO!" he yelled, and kicked his foot back into Rocksteady's face, if he didn't get that blade away from them, his whole family could die. The giant rhino stumbled backward and dropped him, Raph rolled to his sais and grabbed them. "Not gonna be that easy." he growled, "how about this beebop," the pig looked at him, "you and i, no help from Rocksteady now, you and I fight, sword against sai. If I win, and take your blade, you give me the blade and leave. If you win, you kill me with it. Deal?" beebop looked at rocksteady._

" _Yeah man! No helping me out! I can handle this pathetic excuse for a reptile!" he boasted, Raph grinned, that's what he'd been hoping for._

" _Meh, fine." rocksteady growled, "but if you fall, I will crush the turtle's shell like the blueberries." he leaned back against the wall. Raph held his sai's out, he was about, 67% positive he'd win. He knew enough about math to know that was a bad percent._

" _You think those tiny skewers will do anything against this?" beebop asked haughtily "this is pure adamantium!"_

" _Yeah, you said," Raph growled, "get ready to find out." he charged at beebop, but as he caught the pigs blade in his sai, it sliced right through the steel. "What the,"_

" _Oh yeah, and that scientist dude especially made sure it could break steel!" beebop laughed, "too bad you didn't know that!" Raph threw the ruined weapon away and held his remaining one up in defensive, his percent had dwindled down to about, fifty four, you know, because he was so sure that he was smart. He watched beebop carefully, aware that rocksteady had relaxed visibly when they saw the blade did it's job._

" _I bet it only works once." he growled, casting his senses around, trying to buy time, "why don't you try again?" he realised that this was the tunnel he remembered from that one day, he wouldn't have if Leo hadn't brought it up. But he knew a chasm was only a few hundred yards behind him. He backed up slowly,a plan beginning to from in his head._

" _Hey, where you goin man?" beebop yelled, "that's a dead end!"_

" _Well, hope you don't die." Raph responded, bebop came after him._

" _You know, I'm gonna love slicing right through your shell." he said._

" _Really? I feel the same about you." Raph said, getting closer to the edge every second, he stopped about a foot away, "why don't you try it?" beebop accepted the invitation and ran at Raph, Raph tried to dodge, so that he'd fall. But apparently this guy wasn't as stupid as he looked. Instead, ,he swerved too, and slashed the sword down toward Raph's head. Raph swung his head back, but his plastron wasn't as fortunate. The blade caught right in the crack already existing in his shell, a faint voice played in his head._

 _You should really let me seal that crack Raph, it might be a weak spot. Thanks a ton Donnie. Raph thought, turns out, you are right about everything. Not about to give up, and despite the agony crawling through him, Raph grabbed the sword in his hands as he fell backwards over the edge, beebop didn't expect that, and let go. Raph fell into the dizzying darkness. He fumbled for his t-phone during the fall, aware he was losing consciousness fast, he just managed to call Leo before thudding onto the ground and also falling into darkness._

Raph woke with a start, his chest heaving, he bolted upright and stared at his plastron, oh Donnie, thank you. He stared around, he was in the lab, how long had he been asleep, Remembering things? Raph jumped up and stared at his reflection, his face without a mask looked strange even for him, he never removed it. Like, ever. He glanced down, feeling cold steel against his leg. He had a leg brace, how had he forgotten? He took a few practice steps, happy to see that the brace gave just enough support to his aching leg. He hurried into the lair, they weren't there, where had they gone off to? He spotted a note scrawled in Leo's handwriting, they were on patrol, duh. His head suddenly pounded and he doubled over in pain, oh man, headache. He went to the dojo and looked inside, Splinter was asleep in his room, he crossed to the cupboard where the extra equipment was stored and got himself new gear, a belt, a mask, and his sais. He couldn't do kneepads, so he wrapped cloth around the leg without the brace, and got his elbow pads. For Some reason, he already had the hand wraps. He must have remembered something while he was, what should he call it? Mentally young? Sure… he took a few practice swings with his sais, they'd be ok until he could start training again, his plastron started aching and he paused, maybe he wasn't as healed as he thought. Raph frowned, thinking, he could wait here for the guys….but something in his gut said they'd need his help, they might not know about the new weapons, yeah he had to go find them. Besides, this way his entrance would be way more shocking and glorious. He walked out of the dojo and winced, he'd have to take it easy though.

Mikey ran across the rooftops with Leo, trust his guts? Guts could be very evil, he should know, having once been eaten by the mega shredder.

"So," he said keeping his voice light, "where do your guts say to go Leo?" Leo rolled his eyes, but then narrowed them.

"This way." he said, and veered to the left, Mikey glanced at Donnie and followed. They skidded to a stop when they saw some of shredder's thugs walking down the street.

"We know they live in the sewers." TIgerclaw said, "but since this buffoon and beebop couldn't find them," he jerked his head at rocksteady. "We apparently need more than two mutants to track them down, the red one is dead though, so we only need to find three turtles." Mikey's eyes widened, they thought Raph was dead! Then again, he may still die. Mikey shivered and glanced at Leo, he was scowling.

"So, what do we do?" Donnie asked, Leo drew his sword.

"Attack them, what else?" he asked, "if they find the lair, they'll see that Raph isn't dead, and then they'll kill him, oh, and please don't tell them or they'll still look for him."

"Gotcha." Mikey said, saluting his brother, "now?"

"Now." Leo confirmed, they jumped down, mIkey took rahzar, Donnie took fishface,and Leo took tigerclaw, they then ended up each fighting two mutants each, Mikey felt a giant hand swat him aside, rocksteady glared at him.

"Hehe, hey." Mikey said, and rolled out of the way.

"If a beebop could a kill the strong one, I a bet I can a squash you like the blueberries!" he said, Mikey glared at him, wanting to tell him that, beebop hadn't killed Raph. But then rahzar grabbed him from behind.

"Hey!" he said,

"I want the pleasure of disposing of this one rocksteady." he growled, "you only get the pleasure of watching."

"Bah! Who say that? He was beating you two minutes ago!"

"Well, I have him now, so I will kill him!" rahzar snarled, Mikey smiled nervously.

"I have an idea." he offered, both mutants looked at him, "how about we compromise, you guys both let go of me and close your eyes, and then when you open them, i've already disappeared!" the two hulking mutants looked at each other.

"do you think I'm stupid?" rahzar asked, "I'll never let you escape again!"

"Really?" Mikey Asked, struggling, hoping to buy time, "well, you guys don't know my secret." they looked at each other.

"What secret?" Rocksteady asked, Mikey paused.

"Uh, it's a secret."

"Mikey!" Donnie yelled, sprinting over, he kicked rahzar in the face and he dropped Mikey.

"Thanks don!" Mikey said, jumping down and whipping his chucks under rocksteady's feet, "Where's Leo?" they looked over at their oldest brother, he was fighting tigerclaw with the adamantium blade, and as they watched Leo was flung backwards and crashed into them.

"Leo!" Donnie said, "are you ok?"

"He won't be for long." tigerclaw growled, walking towards them, Mikey gulped, mutants surrounded them on all sides, rahzar and rocksteady had recovered, and fishface and tigerclaw.

Raph ran along the rooftop as fast as he could without hurting himself, then he heard something terrifying.

"Leo! Are you ok?" Raph spun around and skidded to a halt, kneeling in the shadows, his brothers, oh man, he hadn't called them brothers for so long, it was great to be back. He frowned, what would he say to them? Then he shook his head, it didn't matter, he had to save them first.

"Rocksteady," tigerclaw said, "you wanted revenge for beebop correct? Now's your chance." Raph scowled what happened to beebop? But then rahzar kicked Leo forward and he fell to his keens, Raph's eyes widened in shock as he saw the adamantium blade in Leo's hand. Rocksteady cracked his knuckles, and Raph decided it was time to stop watching. He jumped down and kicked rocksteady's horn away from his brother,and he held his sais high as he stood above the fallen figure.

"What?" tigerclaw yelled, "you said he was dead!"

"He, he was!" rocksteady said, "I do not know why, his shell was cracked like the blueberries!" Raph tried to open his mouth for a stinging retort, but it stayed firmly in the slight frown he'd worn for months, not responding.

"Raph?" Leo gasped as he helped him up, Raph nodded to him, then he turned to rocksteady. Rocksteady stared at him.

"I promise you he was a dead turtle!" he said, "he's, he's a ghost!" a few of the mutants backed away, tigerclaw looked uneasy.

"You may have won this time!" he yelled to them as all his cronies turned and ran as Raph glared at them, "but we will find all of you!" Raph watched them leave, satisfied, and turned to his brother, he again tried to speak, but nothing happened, had his nerves died or something?

"Raph!" Donnie exclaimed, "what the shell?" Raph tried to at least smile, but his lips only twitched, and he rubbed his head, the headache was coming back.

"Raphie!" Mikey squealed and hugged him, Raph hugged his brother tightly and they sank to their knees.

 _I'm sorry little brother_ he thought, I _won't scare you again._

"Raph, are you, do you remember us?" Leo asked, Raph opened his eyes, and nodded, looking right at Leo. Leo frowned.

"He might," Donnie said, "but, he isn't talking."

 _I'M RIGHT HERE! I JUST SAVED YOUR STINKING SHELLS! OF COURSE I REMEMBER!_ Raph wanted to yell, instead he thought for a moment, how could he communicate with them? He stood and helped Mikey to his feet, then he turned to Leo. For a moment, Leo looked afraid, like he was worried about what Raph would do. Raph suddenly doubled over in pain, grabbing his head, it pounded, and then his plastron started hurting again.

"Well, it won't matter if he passes out!" Donnie exclaimed, and hauled Raph upright again, Raph nodded his thanks, since he couldn't even smile. Mikey hurried to his other side and Raph saw his eyes were brimming with tears.

"Oh yeah, he remembers." Mikey said, "I know he does." Leo and Donnie looked doubtful, but they didn't voice their fears, that Raph had just randomly remembered them for a few minutes, long enough to help.

"Let's go home." Leo said, and they walked slowly back down into the sewers.

Leo supported Raph on his shoulder as they staggered back to the lair, and his head was still spinning from the shock, Raph was here? He was supposed to be in the lab, in some kind of coma! Suddenly Leo's gut twisted,what if this wasn't really Raph? Just some kind of clone that shredder was using to get at them? What if all this was a big trick? But he looked at his now red masked brother, who stared back, the corner of his mouth twitching, and he knew it must be him.

"Come on, I want to check on him." Donnie said,and they went to the lab, luckily, there was no sleeping figure on the cot, Leo noticed that the blankets were thrown back and the cot pushed a few inches, as if Raph had sprung up out of them when he awoke. It seemed to good to be true. Raph obediently went to Donnie, who prodded his plastron a few times, making Raph wince.

"Is he ok?" Mikey Asked, and Donnie shrugged.

"I didn't think he'd be fighting this soon, even if he did remember us earlier." he said, "the first time, it took him three months, so it could just be exertion." Leo frowned, what did he mean by 'could' "of course…" Donnie frowned,

"What?" he pressed, Donnie sighed.

"He might have had internal injuries I didn't notice, I was pretty busy and I tried to make sure he was ok, but I may have missed something." Donnie looked at the floor, "please don't be mad." Leo took a deep breath.

"I'm not mad." he assured his brother, "I'm just worried." Raph looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and if his mouth wasn't still in the small frown it was, he would be half grinning. Leo smiled.

"Ok," Mikey said, "so, why can't Raphie talk?" Leo flinched, remembering Raph's hate of that nickname, but Raph ignored the youngest turtles words, at least that one. He raised a finger and shrugged, Leo looked at him.

"Raph, how can you communicate with us?" he asked, Raph looked at the floor, his eyes narrowed, obviously thinking hard, then walked to Donnie's desk and started going through the drawers, Leo looked at Donnie, somewhat amused, somewhat worried. Donnie opened his mouth, probably to ask Raph not to go through his stuff, when Raph held up what he'd been looking for, a picture of April. Leo shook his head.

"She already tried Raph," he said, "remember? She couldn't reach you." Raph exhaled loudly through his nose and looked for a paper, he scribbled a few words on it and handed the paper to Leo,

 _That was before I remembered you, my mind was white. It's full of colors now, it will work._

"Well then." Donnie said after reading the note, "I guess I'll call April." Raph punched his fist in the air, presumably happy about this, but it was unnerving to see him try to show emotion without moving his lower face. "Until she gets here," Donnie added, "i'm going to try to test you Raph, I was planning on doing it earlier, but you fell asleep." Raph nodded and leaned against the wall as Donnie went into the kitchen to call April. Leo looked at Raph, now, leaning against the wall, surveying the room, the look on his face seemed normal, he almost always had the small frown there, but not when he was trying to show emotion, that's why it had been unnerving.

"Is she coming'?" Mikey asked as their purple masked brother came back in. Donnie nodded.

"They don't have school tomorrow, and it's almost dawn anyway, so she's coming over at six, Casey might come too." Raph nodded, whether it was happily or approvingly, Leo had no idea. Donnie walked to him.

"So Raph," he said, "don't freak, but I'm going to prick your skin with a needle, give me a thumbs up if you can feel it ok?" Raph nodded again and Donnie took a small needle, he frowned, and placed it on the base of Raph's neck. "Hmm, actually, Mikey please blindfold him so he doesn't know what i'm doing, the mind can invent things."

"Ok!" Mikey said, and wrapped a handkerchief over Raph's eyes, Donnie pricked the skin and Raph held up his thumb, he could feel it. Donnie nodded and pricked about an inch farther up his neck, around the back, another thumbs up. Now he went to the front of Raph's neck, and pricked again, thumbs up. It wasn't until he reached the jawline that Raph stopped giving a thumbs up, and all the way to the top of his nose, he felt nothing. Donnie removed the blindfold, and Raph looked as worried as he could with only his eyes and eye ridge.

"There Is some nerve damage." Donnie said, "but I think I can find a way around that, him not being able to make any sound at all is what worries me."

"What do you mean?" Leo asked, he'd thought the two were connected. Donnie shrugged.

"Making noise, that's in the brain and vocal chords." he said, "the area around his vocal chords is fine, but i'm worried if he might have brain damage." Raph looked around and raised an eye ridge as if to say, _duh! I was insane for about two freakin months!_ Leo laughed at that thought, and Donnie looked at the floor, crap.

"No, sorry." he said, "i was just, never mind. I'm worried too." Raph rolled his eyes and Leo knew he understood Leo's thought process.

"I'll," Donnie took a breath, "i'll work on getting his mobility back, but he needs to rest, you guys just watch a show or something till April gets here." Leo nodded.

"Sure don." he said, "first one out there gets to pick!" the three brothers made a mad dash for the couch, Mikey won, mostly because he was already closer, but also because Leo lagged behind with Raph. He couldn't get those memories out of his head.

 _Hurry up slowpoke!_

Leo shook his head, that didn't matter, Raph was probably going to be ok.

 _ **so, raph's awake and remembering! but...not talking? huh, well you'll see what happens next soon enough!**_


	11. Who's Fault This Is

_**ahem, here's chapter eleven, and i just want to make it perfectly clear that all the 'medical expertise' donnie uses right here, is completely made up by yeah, i have no clue if any of this is accurate so keep that in mind. thanks for the reviews! read and enjoy!**_

Donnie looked over his chart of nerves on a body, from what he'd found recently, they had the same nervous systems as humans did, so, it was pretty simple to find a regular chart on google. He'd printed it out with the printer he'd put together a few years earlier, now he was studying it, trying to figure out which one would affect movement in the jaw, he had three possible ones, maybe all of them. He sighed, and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his eyes. If he could just figure out where the problem was…

"Raph!" he called, "come in here please!" Raph came in a few moments later, his eyes looking hopeful. Donnie sighed, getting to his feet, and put on his fake smile. "Ok, I just need to see a few things before I can help you, so come here for a sec." Raph complied, and Donnie got out his med kit, he removed a few metal rods made for this purpose. He leaned over a few inches, because he was taller than his older brother and looked at the three d print out he'd made, he prodded Raph at the base of the neck, hard. Raph jerked back, eyes full of shock. Donnie sighed.

"Ok, that wasn't right, let me try this one." Raph looked at him warily, but moved back over so he could try again. Donnie moved around to the back of his brothers neck now, and poked next to the spine, Raph jerked forward slightly, but he didn't move his mouth, whether he was trying or not, Donnie didn't know. After a few moments he sighed again.

"Ok, last one," he said, "hope it works." Raph nodded and Donnie took the smallest rod, he placed it gingerly under the base of Raph's jaw, under his ear slit. Then, he pushed it in, just a bit, Raph jerked away again, his mouth gaping, then his face split into a grin. Donnie sighed, relieved. Now at least, even if he couldn't talk, he'd be able to eat better. Raph grabbed him in a bear hug, his meaning was clear.

 _Thank you Donnie!_

"Guys?" April called from where she was walking into the lair, Raph put Donnie down and turned, she and Casey were walking in, Leo and Mikey looked up from their show.

"Hi April!" Mikey said, "Raphie's in the lab with Donnie, something about nerves."

"We're coming out." Donnie said, and he followed Raph who was fist bumping Casey.

"He's better?" Casey asked, Donnie sighed, slumping his shoulders.

"He remembers everything at least." he said quietly, and April frowned.

"Wasn't that what was wrong? He couldn't remember anything, not even how to…" her voice faltered, "talk?"

"I said after his accident that he'd have severe nerve and brain damage." Donnie said, just as quietly, "he can't, can't talk anymore." April covered her hand with her mouth, but Mikey thumped her on her back.

"But hey! Donnie fixed his mouth issues!" April looked at Donnie quizzically, and he rubbed his neck.

"His jaw was paralyzed." he murmured, "I, I fixed it just now," Raph nodded, grinning like a mad man, which Donnie thought was a very possible thing at this point.

"So," April said, "why did you need me?" Donnie looked up at her before looking back at his feet.

"Well," he said, "we thought that he my have some things that you can only tell from the inside," he said, "the inside of his mind, do you think you can try again?" April nodded.

"Of course!" she said, "c'mere Raph." Raph walked over to her and they sat in chairs facing each other, Donnie watched nervously, what if he'd made things worse? What if Raph's mind was totally messed up now? He sure hoped not.

Raph's memory of the past two months was foggy at best, but he vividly remembered when April had tried to find him. It had been like walking on a great white sheet of paper, with only a few new images drawn at his feet. Now, though, images would splay out for seventeen years worth of his life, hopefully. He closed his eyes and opened them to find himself in the place he'd been before, and his hope was correct, he could see every one of his memories. April was staring around.

"Raph," she said, tears in her eyes, "you're, you're back."

"I told you." he said, and jumped, "how can I talk?"

"I dunno," April said, "we're in the mindscape, maybe that's why, your speech impairment isn't memory based, that's for sure."

"Oh," Raph said, looking at his feet, he thought of something. "Can you, can you tell Leo something?" April looked surprised.

"Sure!" she said, "anything!" Raph closed his eyes for a moment, he took a deep breath.

"Tell him, tell him, ugh, ok, tell Leo, uh...sorry. My thoughts are scattered, tell him that I'm sorry I was afraid of him, I didn't' want to be, I guess….I'm just sorry is all, can you tell him that?"

"Ok," April said, "but Raph, we've all been wondering, what happened in the sewers, with rocksteady and bebop?" Raph jumped.

"Uh…how do you guys know they were there?" he asked, April frowned.

"You called Leo, he came looking for you, and heard them I guess."

"I did call him," Raph murmured, "I forgot, thanks April,"

"So, what happened?" Raph closed his eyes.

"Not today April." he sighed, "sometime soon, but not today." April looked up at him happily.

"I'm so glad you're back." she whispered, Raph smiled.

"Believe it or not, me too." he said, "we better, we better wake up now."

"Oh yeah." she said, and they opened their eyes.

"Well?" Leo asked, Raph opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, he put his head in his hands, he'd forgotten. He'd been able to speak for two minutes, and he forgot he couldn't really.

"He's fine." April said, "it isn't memory based."

"Oh." Donnie said, looking put out for a moment, then he put a smile back on his face, one Raph knew was fake. "I'll have to do a brain scan then." April nodded, and backed up a tiny bit, she gestured for Leo to come over, and Raph looked away, he didn't want to seem weird. But he happened to look back at the moment Leo looked at him with a smile. Raph smiled back, before looking back at the ground, hey, at least if he couldn't talk, Leo wouldn't be telling him to shut up all the time. Donnie walked back to the lab.

"I'll need you in a few minutes Raph." he said, and pulled the sliding door shut, Raph frowned, he hoped Donnie wasn't beating himself up over this, it was his own fault. He sighed, if he hadn't been stupid, and approached the two mutants alone, he'd be fine, no, Donnie was probably upset about something else.

 _Hurry faster Donnie!_ Donnie rubbed his head, getting the brain scanner equipped for a cat scan, even now, when there was no immediate threat, he could still hear echoes of his brother's impatience. He sighed, maybe if he'd been better prepared three months ago, he'd have helped Raph more. He frowned as he attached a wire, he still wanted to know everything that happened to Raph that day, it may shed some light on the state he was in when they found him, he'd been bruised all over, and the crack in his plastron obviously, but he'd had a severe head wound as well, a goose egg the size of an actual egg had formed on his head. Donnie plugged in the last cable and stepped back, it reminded him horribly of that chair he'd gotten trapped in, when karai had captured them, he shivered, the brain boggler is what she called it.

"Raph! It's ready!" he called, the metal doors slid open and he smiled, not quite as falsely as before, but it wasn't a true smile. All his brothers walked in, and at the sight of the scanner, Raph frowned, Donnie could almost see the memory reflected in his older brothers eyes, he too, was reminded of the torture chambers.

"That?" Leo asked skeptically, Donnie nodded slowly.

"Y-yeah, if you guys don't think it's a good idea then I won't-" he was cut off when Raph placed the scanner on his own head and looked expectantly at Donnie. He smiled warmly at his older brother, and strapped it on. "Ok Raph," he said, "this should NOT hurt, if you feel any pain at all raise your hand and i'll shut it off immediately, ok?" Raph nodded, "then here goes." Donnie flipped the switch and looked at the scan that was forming on his screen. Raph's vision was fine, but he had suspected that, and most of his nerve receptors, but, the section of his brain in charge of speaking, and forming thoughts into words was bruised. That wasn't good. Like, at all. He saved the image and turned off the scan, then helped Raph take the scanner off.

"See? Easy!" he said, "I'll take a closer look at the scans and get back to you." he turned his back on his family as he put the scanner away, waiting until he heard them walk out. Then he turned, and ran his hands over his face.

"I'm a horrible scientist." he muttered to himself, "I didn't even THINK to scan his brain before this, and now it may be too late altogether."

"Donatello." Donnie spun around,

"m-Master Splinter!" he stuttered, "I uh, I was just putting my scanner away, did you see Raph's up?"

"I did." Splinter said, "I spoke with him a few moments before April arrived, you were in here."

"Oh, yeah." Donnie said, "Well, I gotta do some stuff Sensei, can we, talk later?" Splinter raised an eyebrow, "did you, hear me talking to myself?" he asked in a whisper.

"I did." Splinter said, "you are blaming yourself for things that never even happened." Donnie looked up at his father.

"That's exactly it! I NEVER scanned his brain for injuries, I NEVER thought until now to check his nerves, what is wrong with me?" he sat heavily on a chair, putting his head in his hands. "And now Raph's almost back to normal, he smiles at me, like he doesn't blame me, and that's worse. Because he _should_ blame me, if i'd insisted on sealing the first crack with this stuff, he wouldn't have been so injured."

"Really?" Splinter asked, "the adamantium sword would have cut through his plastron either way, why is this your fault?" Donnie looked up at his father.

"It just, is." he mumbled, Splinter put a hand on his shoulder.

"Whether or not Raphael speaks again, he will always respect you, and all of your brothers, and he would thank you for saving his life if he could, you cannot blame yourself for his accident, I am sure he had his reasons for going against the two of them alone, and he will explain those reasons to me. If you need to know any of it, I will tell you. And Raphael will never blame you, Donatello. Neither do Leonardo and Michelangelo."

"I, I know sensei." Donnie breathed, "but, haven't you ever felt like this, whenever we lose a fight or something? Like, like it may be your fault?"

"I might." Splinter mused, "a few times."

"Well, then you understand how it feels." Donnie whispered even quieter, "and you know how crushing, how hard it can be."

"I suggest you take a break Donatello." Splinter said, shutting the lid of Donnie's laptop. "Go take a nap, I will wake you later." Donnie nodded slowly, and got to his feet.

"Yes sensei." he whispered, and walked out to his room, ignoring the greetings of his family. They fell silent after a moment, and he felt them watch him as he shut the door to his room. His bed was covered in books, and he was too tired to organize them on the desk, or the floor, so he pushed them off, and slumped forward onto his bed, he was out in an instant.

Mikey felt the uncomfortable silence after his brother shut the door, essentially shutting them out. He chuckled softly, to lighten the mood.

"So the, were we gonna play leap frog or what?" he asked, which was completely random, they hadn't been about to play anything.

"You boggle the mind." Casey informed him, Mikey bowed.

"Thank you thank you, thank you very much!" he crowed. April laughed.

"We can always count on you Mikey, to lighten the mood." she said, and Mikey's face brightened, that was what he'd been hoping for. Leo chuckled a bit as well, then his face transformed into a worried frown, and he looked back at Donnie's room.

"Is he ok?" he asked, Mikey frowned, he was worried about his brother too, so he got to his feet.

"I'll go see!" he said cheerfully, they all watched as he skipped to his older brothers door and knocked. "Oh, Donnie boy!" he sang cheerfully, "guess what?" Donnie groaned, and Mikey frowned, he was asleep, but he'd always liked to do what he said he'd done, so he put his hand on the handle, "going' in!" he informed his siblings, and walked in, his eyes widened as the door slid shut behind him, Donnie's room was always cluttered, but he'd never left books on the floor like that, and he looked exhausted. Mikey walked to his brothers bed and sat cross legged on it next to him, petting his head.

"Hey Donnie." he said softly, "did I ever tell you how awesome you are?"

"Moan." Mikey frowned.

"You know don, you could just actually moan, might help sell the act." he suggested, and Donnie flinched.

"He's moaning, what did I do? Is this my fault?" his slurred speech slid into a whimper and Mikey frowned. He must be having a nightmare.

"It's not your fault Donnie." he said, petting his brothers head again, "it's no one's fault." Donnie relaxed a bit, and Mikey smiled. He leaned against the wall and held Donnie's hand gently, it reminded him of what they'd done for Raph, then he too, fell asleep.


	12. Hidden Judgements

_**Hey guys! review response time!**_

 _ **daklog73- yeah, I feel so sorry for donnie at that chapter, it was a little**_ _ **difficult**_ _ **to write. I'm glad you've been enjoying my book! thanks for the review!**_

 _ **smokescreen-ninja- thanks for reviewing!**_

 _ **now, to**_ _ **the**_ _ **chapter!**_

"Raphael" Raph's head jerked up, and he looked at his father. "We are all, including me, curious as to what exactly happened three months ago." Raph frowned, he didn't want to tell them how stupid he'd been. "You cannot speak." Splinter said,and Raph felt relief spread through him, that's right, he'd never have to tell them. Then he felt guilty. He nodded and shrugged at the same time.

 _So, what do you want me to do about it?_ Splinter smiled, as if he knew what Raph was thinking.

"Until we are able to think of something more permanent, you will use this." his father held out a leather journal and a few sharpened pencils, Raph's spirits fell. "I want you to write what happened from your point of view." Splinter told him, "i will read it, but your brothers will not know what you write." Raph thought about this, that seemed ok, Splinter understood just about everything. Raph nodded grudgingly and took the journal, rubbing the leather binding with his finger. He nodded, and Splinter smiled. "You may start now." he said pointedly, and Raph leaned against the tree he'd been kneeling next to, he opened to the first page,and placed the pencil tip on the paper.

 _ **Leo suggested that I go patrol the sewers for him, because I was restless. I love going out on my own, so I said sure, I didn't want him to know how glad I was I could leave, because he suggested it. While I was walking I heard voices, it was Rocksteady and Bebop. They were arguing whether or not they should split up, they were looking for us.**_

Raph frowned, tapping the eraser against his lip, how much should he write? He glanced at Splinter, he was sitting, meditating. But Raph was sure he had an eye cracked open, so he decided to write down everything.

 _ **Leo had a dream the night before, a nightmare. It was about when my plastron cracked, and made me look awesome. I don't know why he had it, but I think it was a warning. I got out my phone to text him now, telling him that I was gonna confront these guys, but I didn't know that the text didn't go through, things might have been much worse if it had. I stepped out and confronted them, they were almost amused to see that I was alone, and wanting a fight. I was in that mood, I wanted a fight. Beebop said he had new equipment, I wondered what it was. They were beating me pretty good, but then beebop took out some kind of sword, he said it would cut right through our shells. That's when I knew I had to stop them, and I hoped that Leo and the others weren't on their way after all, I suggested that rocksteady back up, and me against beebop. We were in a tunnel I know, it had a chasm, i'd fallen from the cliff once before. I was battling him, and the adamantium sliced right through my sais, I backed up, getting closer to the chasm, I thought that I may be able to get him to run right off the cliff, but he was too smart. He sliced at my head, but my head instinctively swung back, and it caught my plastron instead. It hurt like shell, I grabbed the sword as I fell backward, and then released it when beebop let go, it fell beside me, and I fumbled for my phone again...i called Leo. And then there was nothing. Nothing but pain, and darkness. The whole time, I'd worried about them, never about myself. I didn't want anything to happen to them.**_

Raph stopped as a tear splashed from his eyes, until now he hadn't realised why he'd been avoiding it. Now he did, it was a horrible memory, even though the entire ordeal, he'd been filled with devotion for his brothers. He swiped the tear away, smudging the pencil lead. Raph closed the journal and leaned his head back. What was wrong with him? He'd promised himself a long time ago he'd always be the strongest,and now he was this mess. He could barely fight, and he couldn't talk, and now he was crying over a three month old memory. Raph rubbed his head with both hands, well, he could start training again, no matter what Donnie said. He was still going to be a ninja, the best ninja. He inwardly chuckled to himself, he still held onto his childhood dreams apparently.

"Raphael." Splinter said, Raph looked up. "You have finished?" Raph nodded, and stood up awkwardly, he reminded himself to ask don when he could take the stupid brace off, it was a little annoying, but at least he could walk. Splinter took the journal and nodded to Raph. "You may begin training today, _light_ training." Raph grinned to show his father he was happy, he never grinned much before, but now it was one of the only way he could communicate. Raph walked out of the dojo, Leo and Mikey were on the couch, and the light in Donnie's lab was on, after waving a hello to his two brothers, he walked to the lab.

When he saw Donnie, however, he raised his eyebrows. It wasn't usual for them to find Donatello sitting upside down in his spinny chair, spinning in circles with his hands hanging down.

"I. am. Useless." Donnie muttered to himself, Raph frowned. He took a few steps towards his younger brother, but Donnie still didn't see him. "Can't do a single stupid thing right." Raph crouched in front of his brothers as he spun,and Donnie's eyes widened. "Raph!" he tumbled off the chair. Donnie got to his feet, and brushed himself off, smiling a fake smile. "I was, doing brain exercises, it helps your circulation if you, uh, sit upside down…." Raph raised an eyebrow again,and Donnie looked at the floor. "Yeah…."

 _Who the shell do you think you're fooling?_ Raph wanted to ask his brother, unfortunately, he couldn't. Instead, he pulled Donnie into a hug, would've been embarrassing, but he couldn't really translate his feelings into tough guy talk anymore, because he couldn't talk. At first, his brother seemed startled, and then hugged Raph back.

"I'm sorry." he whimpered.

 _Sorry for what?_ Raph wanted to ask, but again, he couldn't. Donnie, however, shrugged his shoulders as if Raph had asked the question out loud.

"I just...i can't fix you." he said, as tears slid out of his eyes. "No matter how hard I try." Raph pulled away and looked up at Donnie, even though he was a head taller than Raph, he seemed so little at this moment.

 _And who said i'm broken?_ He challenged with his eyes. Donnie flinched.

"I'm, I'm sorry Raph, I know you aren't broken." he said, then his eyes widened. "How did I know what you wanted to-" Raph shrugged, and grabbed a piece of paper.

 _Maybe you know me better than you thought._ Donnie smiled.

"Ok, Raph, so, you're really ok with not talking?" he asked, Raph thought for a moment, it wasn't so bad...he shrugged. Then he gestured to his leg brace, with raised eyebrows. Donnie shrugged.

"I don't know, keep it on for at least another week, train with it, and then we can see how you do." he said, "if I'm going to get anything right, it'll be that." Raph nodded and sighed. A week huh? Might as well get used to ignoring it.

 _Don't give up Donnie._ He wished he could tell his brother. Instead he offered his younger brother another smile before going back out to the lair, Leo and Mikey smile at him.

"Hey bro!" Mikey said, "wassup?" Raph shrugged. He sat next them they were watching another of Mikey's shows, he smiled as he remembered how Mikey had him watch crognar for hours on end before he recovered, but then again, he thought as he glanced at his leg, he wasn't completely recovered yet.

Leo sighed, they'd started training with Raph again earlier today, he was taking a break right now. Splinter came beside Leo. He looked up at his father.

"I don't get it sensei." he said. Splinter raised his eyebrows. "Raph, he was always stronger than us, it's not fair that this happen, and he has to start as square one all over again."

"Raphael is not at square one." Splinter said, "he is simply recovering, yes, he will need to get back to where he was, but he is not at square one."

"Hai sensei." Leo said, as Raph crossed back over to them, ready for another try.

"Raphael, Leonardo." Splinter said, you will try to disarm one another, try not to injure each other to severely." Leo looked at Raph, who's mouth was set in a determined line. Then Raph caught his eyes, and smiled as if to say,

 _Don't you go easy on me Leo._ Leo shook his head to clear it, this wasn't anything new, he grabbed his katanas and stood facing Raph. Raph had his sais and faced Leo the same way. Splinter nodded.

"Hajime!" he commanded, and Leo watched for Raph to make the first move. Raph raised an eye ridge and shrugged, he ran at Leo. Leo, startled by how effectively his brother could run, considering his leg, and had to quickly dodge to the side, Raph stopped and spun back around, grinning like he was crazy, which was possible at this point. Leo knew that he'd underestimated Raph today, something he hadn't done in a long time. Raph dashed at him again without hesitation, and Leo jumped up over him, Raph somehow caught his katana hilt and yanked it out of his grasp, leaving him with one left. Leo spun as he hit the ground, Raph looked like he usually did, smug. Leo narrowed his eyes, feeling the anger rise again in his chest, but for some reason it was now directed to his brother. He tried to squash the thoughts, but they kept coming.

 _If you weren't so quick to rush into battle, you'd be fine! And we wouldn't be in this mess!_ Leo shook his head as if trying to fling the thoughts away, it was definitely not Raph's fault, yet...why didn't he want to tell them why he took them on? On his own. Leo narrowed his eyes, Raph smiled back, still as smug as ever. Leo aimed his katana at the handle of Raph's sai, and Raph caught it in the space between two of the narrow blade, Leo scowled, and then grinned, he let Raph get a hold on the katana, and then pulled backward, yanking the sai out of his brother's hand. Ha! Raph scowled in return, holding his remaining sai to the side, as if daring Leo to go for it. Abandoning his usual tactic of sensible jabs and slashes, Leo backflipped over to the outstretched hand and the sai out of it.

"I win,"

"Yame!" Splinter commanded, and they looked over. "Well done Leonardo." Leo nodded modestly, and Raph shrugged. "You may be done with training for today." Leo looked at his brother, he didn't seem to happy about this, but he followed Leo out.

"That was close Raph." Leo said, "you almost had me." Raph looked at him, a small frown on his face, as if to say,

 _But I didn't._ Leo put his hand on Raph's shoulder.

"You'll get it." he assured him, "I know you will."

"Yeah," Mikey said offhandedly from the couch, "you'll get whatever it is…." Leo stifled a laugh. Mikey would support Raph no matter if he had any inkling what they were talking about.

"See?" he said to Raph, "Mikey knows too." Raph rolled his eyes and walked away, Leo almost wished he could hear the stinging retort that was undoubtedly in his younger brothers head.

Mikey glanced up, Raph had been there a sec ago, but now he was in the lab, Donnie had probably wanted to check on him or something. Leo stood watching the door to the lab, as if waiting to hear Raph's angry voice telling the purple masked ninja he was fine. He didn't.

"Wanna play?" Mikey asked, holding up the extra controller, "ice cream kitty thinks she can beat you."

"Meow!" ice cream kitty agreed,Leo looked over, a grin splitting his face.

"Yeah, ok." he said, "what game?"

"Mario karts dude." Mikey said, Leo laughed.

"Ice cream kitty can just try and beat me." he replied, Mikey smiled as he started a new game. Ice cream kitty got first, and to Mikey's surprise Leo got second, Mikey got third.

"Ha! Bam!" Leo said as they finished, "i beat you Mikey, even if ice cream kitty creamed me,"

"Haha." Mikey said, "creamed." Leo rolled his eyes.

"I wasn't even trying to make a pun." he said, "only you Mikey."

"Only Mikey what?" Donnie asked, walking out with Raph, who was rubbing his head. "Get pizza stuck to the ceiling?" Mikey looked up.

"Hey! Pizza!" he exclaimed, "nice!" Leo grabbed his shell before he could try to get the said piece of pizza.

"That has been there." he said, "for three months, we were waiting to see how long it'd take you to notice." Mikey frowned.

"I thought I got it up there in the first place." he pointed out. They all looked at each other.

"Did you know before now?"

"Well," Mikey shrugged, "no, but you didn't know that." his brothers just looked at him. "What?"

"Absolutely nothing." Donnie replied, "so Leo, Raph's leg should get strong enough in a few weeks to take off the brace, but we'll want to see if he can go without it on patrol, so in the next few days we can go up there and, what?" Mikey had frowned.

"Are you sure?" he asked, Donnie looked at him.

"Yes Mikey." he said, "i'm sure, anyway," he continued, "go up to the surface and see how his leg takes the impact from the jumps we make, and so on." Leo nodded slowly.

"We could, maybe." he said, "but, in a few days?"

"Raph wants to." Donnie said, shrugging. Mikey looked at Raph, how did Donnie know? Raph looked at the floor uncomfortably. Mikey frowned, what was wrong?

"How do you know?" he asked bluntly, Donnie shrugged.

"I can just, tell, by the way he looks at me." he explained, Mikey felt a twinge of jealousy he thought he knew his hotheaded brother the best.

"Ok, then." Leo said, "we can go up on friday, that's three days, think you can last Raph?" Raph looked up and nodded.

 _Sure, not like I have a choice_ Mikey frowned, maybe he did know Raph well enough. Then he smiled.

"Friday it is." he said happily, "i can't wait."


	13. Hopes and Realizations

_**hey! here's chapter thirteen of 'do you remember me?' sorry it took a while to update, i just wanted to give you guys a heads up though, this is the second to last chapter of my book. :( oh well, enjoy this one! don't forget to review!**_

Raph finished the set of pushups and got to his feet, three stinkin' days. Three days, of course, now it was about four hours, but he couldn't believe Leo made him wait three stinkin days.

"Like master Splinter always says," he heard Mikey say to Leo, "any man who lies to his bro, has to get- wait, that's not it."

"I get it." Leo sighed, "i just have a bad feeling about going out tonight."

"You can't go back on your promise." Mikey said adamantly. "Raph needs this."

"Yeah yeah." Leo said, Raph took the chance to walk out and look at them. "Oh, hi Raph." Raph nodded to them, and sighed, four hours still felt like forever.

"Guys!" Donnie exclaimed, running out of the lab "i just made a complete breakthrough!"

"You broke something?" Mikey asked, "so it isn't just me." Raph looked at him, Leo just ignored him.

"About what?" the blue masked turtle asked their brother, Donnie caught his breath.

"Ok, not exactly a breakthrough on anything you guys know about, but I just finished my latest invention!" he held up a small box proudly. "I know what you're thinking, 'it's just a box' but is it my dear brothers?"

"I dunno what it is Donnie." Leo sighed

"Duh, I made it!" Donnie said, rolling his eyes, then grinned again, "this, my brothers, inside this very box, lies something we need."

"Inflatable pizza!" Mikey exclaimed,falling off his chair, "is something we need!" Raph rolled his eyes. Donnie also ignored the orange masked turtle.

"Nope, better!" he declared, "and Raph get's to open it!" he handed the box to Raph, who frowned, Donnie always like to be the one to unveil his inventions, unless...Raph's eyes widened as he took the lid off, inside were three earpieces, and another thing that looked slightly different. Leo frowned.

"Donnie?" he asked, Their genius brother beamed.

"This is a special com system i've been developing," he said, "with our old ones, and our t-phones, I can get anything any of us have ever said into them! In the person's actual voice!" Donnie waited, wanting them to get what it is, Raph grinned. Donnie had tried so hard, to make it so he could talk again.

"Oh…" Leo gasped, "you mean..."

"Yup!" Donnie beamed, "i made it so that if Raph wants to tell us something, he can do some specific things, which i'll teach him later, and we'll all hear it in our earpiece!" Raph looked down at the technology, Donnie must have been working on this for a long time, Raph's chest filled with pride for his younger brother.

"That's…" Mikey gasped, "that IS better than inflatable pizza!" Raph hugged his purple masked brother tightly.

 _Thank you don._

"I still have to show you how." Donnie said, "it might take awhile to get used to it." Raph nodded, and followed him to the table, Donnie put on one of his own earpieces and then adjusted Raph's slightly bigger one. "Ok, so I hope this works, I engineered it so it can get some info off your brainwaves, but these three buttons here," he ran Raph's finger along a row of buttons, "the first one is Leo, the second one is me, the third is Mikey. Press whoever you want to talk to, you can do more than one by the way, and then think, very clearly, what you want to say. Got it?" Raph nodded, and Donnie flipped the switch on, all three of his brothers turned on theirs and waited for Raph to do something. He frowned, then pressed Mikey's button.

 _You're welcome_. Mikey's eyes widened. Raph vaguely remembered Mikey's voice saying thank you, a while ago, apparently Mikey remembered too.

"Raphie." Mikey said, hugging him, "It works! booyakasha!"

"What did you say?" Leo asked, Raph turned off Mikey's and then turned on Leo's.

 _Thank you for the picture._ Leo's jaw dropped.

"Oh, yeah, no problem bro." he said, Raph grinned, this wasn't exactly like talking, but it was the best they could do for now.

Donnie beamed as his brothers tested his newest invention, and jumped as Raph's voice sounded in his ear.

 _I, I don't blame you don. It's no one's fault._

"Wha? Oh, yeah," Donnie felt his face grow hot, "sorry." Raph shrugged and glanced at his leg, Donnie wished he knew how to help his brother with that problem, but master Splinter thought he'd always need it, at least for patrols. He turned, putting the box back on the table.

"What if these doohickeys break?" Mikey asked, Donnie sighed.

"I made them really hard to break," he said, "but if you do happen to break them, please don't by the way, I can fix it, it'll just take a bit."

"Sweet." Mikey said, and rubbed his head, "y'know, now we look like legit secret agents, like, we should get tuxedo's or something." Donnie frowned.

"Tuxedo's for turtles would be really hard to get." he pointed out. Mikey shrugged.

"Patrol's in an hour." Leo said, "be ready." Donnie nodded.

"Just gonna, clean up my lab." he said, inching back into his favorite part of the lair, once he got there, alone, he sighed. Sometimes he just needed silence.

 _How Long have you been working on these?_ Donnie jumped. _I've only remembered you guys for two weeks._

"Oh," Donnie murmured into the microphone on his own, "i started it just after you woke up, because I thought you had things to say, even if you didn't remember us."

 _Oh._ Raph said, _well, you were right._

"No prob." Donnie replied. Raph fell silent and Donnie heard the tv turn on, he sighed. He was so relieved his idea had worked, now Raph could talk to them even if he wasn't around, if their coms were on. He whistled to himself as he cleaned and organised his desk, and lost track of time.

"Donnie!" Leo yelled, "you coming?" Donnie jumped, he looked at the clock, patrol…

"Yeah!" he called, "one sec!" he grabbed his bo staff and went out to meet his brothers, Raph looked unusually happy, but he had a lot lately, and they set off.

"99 slices of pizza left, 99 slices of pizza!" Mikey sang, Donnie facepalmed.

"Mikey, remember that tiny part where," he paused, "we're ninjas?" Mikey fell silent and stuck out his tongue.

"Party pooper." he pouted, before skipping forward to walk with Raph. Leo fell into step beside Donnie.

"Donnie," he said, "that was great, these coms, Raph is way happier now, can't you see it?" Donnie nodded.

"I just, I wanted Raph to be able to talk." he sighed, "i was worried he'd get offended, or they wouldn't work."

"Hey, but neither happened." Leo praised, "they're amazing, you're a genius."

"Tell me something I don't know!" Donnie joked, Leo grinned.

"But don, you know everything!" he joked back, "that's why you're a genius!"

"No, no." Donnie said, waving his hands, "you flatter me." Leo elbowed him and he laughed. "Ok, thanks Leo, but i'm not nearly as advanced as, I dunno, most aliens, we know that."

"Hey," Leo said, "we defeated the triceratons, and you were smart enough to like, rebuild the fugitoid, you're a great guy Donnie."

"Ok, ok."

"BOOYAKASHA!" Mikey yelled, they looked forward, he and Raph were climbing up the ladder to the surface.

"Hey!" Leo called, "Wait Up!" they ran and joined their brothers, Donnie smiled, tonight was gonna be great he could feel it. But, then why did he also feel a strange sense of foreboding?

Leo shook his head as they climbed onto the roof, he still had a bad feeling about doing this today.

"Aww yeah!" Mikey said, doing a cartwheel, "let's do this!"

 _Did you give him sugar?_ Leo looked at Raph, who was grinning, and shrugged.

"I can't remember." he said, Raph shrugged.

"Ok raph." Donnie said, just, jump to the next roof, and we'll see how your leg holds up with the brace, then we can try without it. Leo jumped first, and raph followed, he stumbled slightly as he landed, mikey next, then donnie.

"I think it's ok." Leo said, looking at his brother's leg, it looked fine on the outside, but what was wrong on the inside? Donnie looked too, the leg apparently seemed fine, because he unclasped the metal bands and pulled the brace off. Raph stretched his leg out a little then supported his weight on it, Leo wanted to think it was just his imagination that it was shaking. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't, raph stumbled forward and leo caught him.

"Hold on bro," he said, raph looked a little put out.

 _Guess i do need the stinking thing_ he said, or thought, or whatever.

"Yeah," Donnie sighed, "that's what i thought." leo helped raph get the brace back on and donnie adjusted it. "Sorry raph." raph shrugged, but it was obvious he was disappointed.

"Uh, guys…" mIkey said from a few yards away, leo ignored him.

"You'll get better." he assured raph, "it might just take a while."

"Guys"

"Yeah, i'm sure we can figure out what's wrong and fix it." donnie said, ignoring mikey as well.

"GUYS!" mikey yelled, leo turned, annoyed.

"What?" he snapped.

"C'mere!" Mikey said, leo rolled his eyes and walked over to his orange masked brother. Mikey pointed down to the street. "Is this bad?" leo looked down, his heart practically jumped up into his mouth. Some of shredder's minions were walking through the street. Tigerclaw, rahzar, rocksteady, fishface, and, leo's heart pumped faster, a heavily scarred beebop.

"Well crap." he said, "donnie, raph we have a problem." his two other brothers came over and donnie sighed.

"Oh come on, seriously?"

"Yup." leo said, "we gotta see what they're up to, or just beat them up." he looked at raph.

"You, you stay here, ok?" raph crossed his arms, raising his eye ridge. They backed away from the edge.

"Raph, you really shouldn't fight." donnie insisted, "you aren't well enough"

 _I saved your shells a week ago! Why can't i now?_

"That's why you're gonna stay up here, in case we need help." Leo said, trying to keep his voice from rising, "we need you to be our backup."

"Hey guys," Mikey said, Leo glared at him.

"What now?"

"Well, for one thing, they were talking about us, and finding us, beebop really hates you leo, and rocksteady wants to hurt you raph,"

"Gee, thanks." leo said sarcastically, "any more bad news?"

"Actually yes," Mikey said, "Where did they go?" leo turned and looked back at the street. All five mutants were gone.


	14. All Good Things Must Come to an End

_**ok, *sobs* here's the very last chapter of 'do you**_ _ **remember**_ _ **me?'**_ _ **just**_ _ **...don't freak out ok? i'll write other stories.**_

Raph would have growled in frustration, only he couldn't.

"Well great." leo said, voicing raph's annoyance, "just great, where did they go?"

"I have no idea." a sinister voice growled, they all spun around,

"F-found 'em." donnie whispered, rahzar bared his teeth. Beebop glared at leo,

"See what you did to my beautiful piggy face?" he yelped, "you gonna pay for that." l _eo, what did you do._ Raph thought, but he'd turned off his head piece a few moments ago, and leo didn't answer.

"I will finally crush your shell like the blueberries." rocksteady cackled at raph, raph glared at him, they backed up near the edge of the roof.

"Donnie, mikey," leo said, "you guys try to flank them, raph," he hesitated, "stay out if you can, please i don't want to lose you...again." raph almost argued, but then nodded. He crouched and his brothers charged the mutants providing him a distraction to get to the other roof top. Raph sat restlessly and watched, leo was, as usual, taking on tigerclaw and fishface at once, donnie took rahzar and beebop, not his usual opponents, and mikey took rocksteady, raph watched his younger brother anxiously, he was fighting really close to an edge. The building was seven stories tall, if Mikey fell, it sent a shiver down raph's shell just thinking about it. Leo quickly took fishface's legs out of commision, and the fish flopped around uselessly. Now donnie was the only one fighting two, and as raph watched he knocked beebop unconscious. Raph almost wanted to cheer, but even if he could he wouldn't have. Donnie kept fighting rahzar, and soon enough, the old bag of bones was also unconscious, slumped beside his mutant friend, donnie ran and began to help leo with tigerclaw, knowing that raph was there to help mikey. Leo and Donnie were a good team, raph had to admit, they had almost finished him off too, well, driven him away, when...

"BOOYAKASHA!" mikey yelled, jumping over rocksteady yet another time and hitting him with his nunchucks. Raph watched nervously as rocksteady stumbled, and regained his footing, taking a horribly familiar metal cylinder out of his belt, raph opened his mouth in a silent warning to mikey, luckily mikey spun around, even without hearing it. Rocksteady raised the sword and laughed. Mikey, backed against the edge of the roof, closed his eyes and waited for unbearable pain. Raph screamed.

"MIKEY!" it didn't even compute that he'd just spoken, he jumped across the gap between the buildings and yanked mikey away, pushing him behind him. The sword swung down at him.

"Raph!" Mikey gasped, but raph dodged the weapon and kicked it away from him and his brother, rocksteady stumbled back a few yards and raph gasped, he smiled at mikey, helping him to his feet.

"You ok?" he asked, Mikey grinned.

"Raphie, you can talk." he said, raph was stunned, he could talk, he _could talk_ just as he was about to yell in triumph a huge force knocked him sideways, Mikey screamed. Raph was falling, falling as a memory rushed back to him, but this time he was horribly conscious, aware that the force of the blow had knocked the fake plastron a little loose, but that the skin underneath wasn't injured. Aware that he was rushing towards solid concrete very fast, aware of his brothers screams from above. All of this in mere seconds, before the world once again descended into darkness.

Leo gave tigerclaw one last kick, and then…

"MIKEY!" he spun around, raph? Donnie paused beside him and tigerclaw ran to his fallen comrades side. He saw raph save mikey, and then, fall, fall off the seven story building.

"Raph!" he screamed, and ran to his youngest brother's side, donnie right alongside him.

"Rocksteady!" tigerclaw yelled, "we have failed tonight, help me get these buffoons back to the shredder's lair."

"Meh, i already crushed his shell like the blueberries." rocksteady said, pleased with himself. The mutants left and leo jumped down, followed by donnie and Mikey, using the fire escape so they didn't suffer the same fate as raph. He was laying on his back, his eyes open and alert.

"Raph, raph can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear bro." raph said, Leo knelt next to him,

"It's gonna be ok bro," he said, choking back tears, Raph smiled.

"Yeah, you guys are gonna defeat the shredder, i know it." he said, leo felt his eyes sting.

"And you'll be there to help." Donnie said, "let me just-"

"Don," Raph said, "we all know this is it." leo felt his eyes fill with tears.

"Raphie," Mikey whimpered, sitting by raph's head, "raphie it's gonna be ok." Donnie started to cry quietly, and sat a few feet away, hugging his knees in defeat, leo felt a needle sharp pain pierce his heart.

"Raph, raph no." he moaned as tears began to fall.

"Heh," raph said, and coughed painfully, "you ain't the only one who can, who can sacrifice himself fearless." Leo stared at his brother and Raph opened his eyes a bit more.

"Raph…"

"Donnie," Raph said, "don this ain't your fault, hear me? I saved mikey on purpose, i knew i might die and i still did it, this is not your fault." he said it fiercely, and donnie sighed.

"I, i know raph." donnie said,

"Good." Raph said, and relaxed a bit, "Mikey, mikey you gotta stay you, don't let yourself take my place ok? You gotta stay the way you are and never change. That's important. Stay you."

"I, I will raph," Mikey choked out, and leo felt his tears fall faster onto his and raph's hands, raph turned his head slightly to look at leo.

"Leo, fearless, i want you guys to read the journal i've been writing in, you wanted to," raph coughed violently "you guys want to know why i let myself get so hurt, well, read it, i swear you'll find out, please read it...please…" Raph closed his eyes and his breathing slowed, "swear you'll read it fearless."

"I swear." Leo gasped, and raph smiled again.

"Good." he said, and relaxed. "I'll miss you guys." his breathing fluttered as did his eyelids, Leo gripped raph's hand tightly as the breaths shortened and slowed, then, raph opened his mouth again. "I love you guys…." he said, and then his chest rose once, and fell slowly, it never moved again.

"No," leo moaned, burying his face in raph's mangled plastron, "raph." Mikey started weeping and cradled raph's head in his lap, letting his tears fall onto the dark jade green skin. Donnie reached over and felt for a pulse, his one last hope of raph being alive, and then his arm fell and he too began to sob. The three brothers sat for what seemed to be days with raph's body, and then, as the sky lightened, they picked him up and went back home.

The end

 _ **you're mad at me right? i'm sorry, it just...it just happened, the story took over and now...yeah...so yup. that's the end. au revoir my friends...**_


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